So many mixed emmotions. Im not crying as easily now. The pampers commercial with little blond toddler girl started me up again.
I know ill be happy eventually. Theres no doubt in my mind i would have children with e someday. We just werent expecting it so soon.
I feel like so many plans and dreams we had have been crushed. So many things we wanted to try and learn about that we simply wont have the time or freedom to do.
I dont want to give it all up yet. I refuse to. We have 9 months to sqeeze in as many pre-baby activities as possible. We will go to vegas. We will get to an sca event. We will go to the beach and maybe have my first sex on the beach.
I will learn to belly dance. I will shoot a set for some pinup site with or without a belly. I will fly on a plane.
Im not going to give up on everything we planned together.
Its kind of depressing that i just payed off my car and got a raise and was planning to help e pay off his car and credit card. Now all the work we did to get here is going to start sliding back in the wrong direction.
But were trying to get a head start on squeezing all the plans we can in as soon as possible. Were going to an sca event in 2 weeks.
Im trying to find a balnce between trying to be happy that im having a baby with someone i love very much and not getting my hopes up too high in case i have another misscarriage.
I dont care about stretch marks and puffy skin and weight gain doctors appointments. I just dont want to lose the life i just found.
And if i could stop being hungry ever 10 mins and peeing every 2 mins that would be great.
I know ill be happy eventually. Theres no doubt in my mind i would have children with e someday. We just werent expecting it so soon.
I feel like so many plans and dreams we had have been crushed. So many things we wanted to try and learn about that we simply wont have the time or freedom to do.
I dont want to give it all up yet. I refuse to. We have 9 months to sqeeze in as many pre-baby activities as possible. We will go to vegas. We will get to an sca event. We will go to the beach and maybe have my first sex on the beach.
I will learn to belly dance. I will shoot a set for some pinup site with or without a belly. I will fly on a plane.
Im not going to give up on everything we planned together.
Its kind of depressing that i just payed off my car and got a raise and was planning to help e pay off his car and credit card. Now all the work we did to get here is going to start sliding back in the wrong direction.
But were trying to get a head start on squeezing all the plans we can in as soon as possible. Were going to an sca event in 2 weeks.
Im trying to find a balnce between trying to be happy that im having a baby with someone i love very much and not getting my hopes up too high in case i have another misscarriage.
I dont care about stretch marks and puffy skin and weight gain doctors appointments. I just dont want to lose the life i just found.
And if i could stop being hungry ever 10 mins and peeing every 2 mins that would be great.
niobe:
*hugs* I hope that everything works out for you.