A workmate came in today laughing so hard he was choking. I asked him what was so funny, and apparently he was walking to work, coat all buttoned up, backpack with his lunch in it on his back and he gets a text message. So he's walking along this alley amongst the backstreets, head hunched over, clicking away on his phone answering this text when...
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VIEW 15 of 15 COMMENTS
A day in my life in three conversations:
Id like to take these books out
Youre actually at the wrong part of the counter for that, check out is over there, if youd just like to bring your books over Ill check them out for you over there.
Christ, how on Earth am I supposed to know that then?
Um, what about the big Check...
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Id like to take these books out
Youre actually at the wrong part of the counter for that, check out is over there, if youd just like to bring your books over Ill check them out for you over there.
Christ, how on Earth am I supposed to know that then?
Um, what about the big Check...
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VIEW 17 of 17 COMMENTS
antenna:
was good to meet you on that piss-themed evening. the next one should be about vomit.
munch:
where the flippin bloody buggery hell is the ice-wharf-palace-scapades jobbie?
unfortunately, due to skintness, would have had to miss it anyway...glad you had a suitably drunken time.
unfortunately, due to skintness, would have had to miss it anyway...glad you had a suitably drunken time.
Wint wint wint wint wint wint wint wint.
VIEW 18 of 18 COMMENTS
munch:
fuck the wint, my man! 
t'was a great night friday - ace to see you again matey boy.
i'll sort out "A Better Tomorrow Pt 2" for you next time - I'm now going to settle down with either "Charlies Angels 2" or "Tetsuo The Iron Man"... not sure what mood I'm in really...
t'was a great night friday - ace to see you again matey boy.
i'll sort out "A Better Tomorrow Pt 2" for you next time - I'm now going to settle down with either "Charlies Angels 2" or "Tetsuo The Iron Man"... not sure what mood I'm in really...
kinto:
Update your journal lazy b**tard !!
K
K
I debtated a lot on whether to make this entry or not as talking abuot these sorts of things over the net can seem tacky, like you're looking for attention, but in the end I think there's a couple of people who would have wanted to know how things had turned out and I generally find writing about stuff therapeutic.
My grandfather had been seriously...
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My grandfather had been seriously...
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VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
maelwys:
Good to see you again squire, ready for the next one? And what was the name of the new Pratchett book again?
preppylegend:
correct , and I've started to catch myself going for too many fag breaks.
sorry to hear about your granddad . My gran died a few months age , but shit both my granddads died years ago , apparently its a family tradition for the women to vastly outlive the men (or maybe the nagging just pushed them to the edge and past it ) . Perhaps i need to turn gay at around 60 .
sorry to hear about your granddad . My gran died a few months age , but shit both my granddads died years ago , apparently its a family tradition for the women to vastly outlive the men (or maybe the nagging just pushed them to the edge and past it ) . Perhaps i need to turn gay at around 60 .
Ok, again dispensing with the humour for this entry, as I tihnk I've got something fairly important to say.
After what's happened to me today, I've come to realise just what a lucky man I am. I have been blessed with a large, loving and wonderful family. We don't just get together once or twice a year either, we're always meeting this aunt or that...
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After what's happened to me today, I've come to realise just what a lucky man I am. I have been blessed with a large, loving and wonderful family. We don't just get together once or twice a year either, we're always meeting this aunt or that...
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VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
asha:
sadly, mine too are fucktards - but then you probably already knew that.
maybe one day i'll just make my own lol!
maybe one day i'll just make my own
lol!
big_dave:
Best wishes your way, man. One of my greatest regrets is never knowing too much about my grand and great-grandparents, but I was pretty young when most of'em went to the big engine shed in the sky. My dad's dad was a cook, rifleman and then boat skipper at Normandy piloting one of the landing craft up the beach on D-Day. That kinda shit makes you realise your whole existence comes down to sheer chance and yeah, you really do need to make the most of whatever you've been dealt while you're here, whether that be family, friends, or whatever.
See you soon
See you soon
Ok, feeling better from my last journal entry (although I hope this doesn't mean Vix isn't going to give me cuddles on friday 
). My grandad's been in and out of hospital but he's basically ok, the current thoery was that he's got gallstone problems that give him flashes of pain so intense they bring on seizures or somesuch. But yeah, he's back home and...
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). My grandad's been in and out of hospital but he's basically ok, the current thoery was that he's got gallstone problems that give him flashes of pain so intense they bring on seizures or somesuch. But yeah, he's back home and... Read More
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
hermes:
Well no-one's told me that before, but I did train under the great eyebrow actor Roger Moore
Yup moral superiority sucks, but I like to think that these guys are earning a sufficient amount of bad karma that they'll be coming back as dung beetles in their next lives.
Yup moral superiority sucks, but I like to think that these guys are earning a sufficient amount of bad karma that they'll be coming back as dung beetles in their next lives.
maelwys:
Good to see again on Friday even if I did bugger off before the major boozing began.
Your atheistic church is a supurb idea. However, I am affiliated with the God of Beer and Belenos. One requires me to consume alcohol and sacrifice sobriety and the other requires me to stuff Politicians in huge wicker men and set fire to them. The wicker man bit is fun since you can also toast sausages while listening to the screams.
[Edited on Sep 16, 2003]
Your atheistic church is a supurb idea. However, I am affiliated with the God of Beer and Belenos. One requires me to consume alcohol and sacrifice sobriety and the other requires me to stuff Politicians in huge wicker men and set fire to them. The wicker man bit is fun since you can also toast sausages while listening to the screams.
[Edited on Sep 16, 2003]
Ok, so I haven't had time to write a seperate update for my journal for now, so instead I shall redirect you to my intarweb site that I write along with another guy that I know from which I will probably be posting more excerpts in the future
http://www.randomactsofnonviolence.com
Enjoy.
http://www.randomactsofnonviolence.com
Enjoy.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
maelwys:
Yep, got Versus. A bloody class film. The epitome of Coolness: Zombies, demons, swords, guns and black leather coats. I love the scene where the demon bloke punches through the chaps head. Ends up with the eyeballs stuck to his fist hehe, I sprayed beer over my living room when I first saw that.
hehe, I sprayed beer over my living room when I first saw that.
maelwys:
I now have a new desktop on my hunk of junk, ta very much
That came out real good. I salute you sir!
That came out real good. I salute you sir!
I have fans! Wheeee!
Ok, I haven't had much of a chance to update the journal as I've ben working on my site, which should hopefully go live in about 2-3 days, but as someone was asking, I jut thought I'd post this from the site:
Dear Penis,
Im sorry to do this, it seems like such a cowardly way to break the news, but...
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Ok, I haven't had much of a chance to update the journal as I've ben working on my site, which should hopefully go live in about 2-3 days, but as someone was asking, I jut thought I'd post this from the site:
Dear Penis,
Im sorry to do this, it seems like such a cowardly way to break the news, but...
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VIEW 10 of 10 COMMENTS
caz:
LOL..soo funny, and thatnx for signing the Knightmare petition. I'd be proud to be in the team
kinto:
Hey Mr librarian, time to update the journal ?
have fun this summer!
K
have fun this summer!
K
We've got another work experience kid in the library. I can't decide if she's another person with learning difficulties like the last one (who was a sweet guy, just very loud) or if she's just dumb as a stump. This does not bode well...
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nic:
The Colour of Magic.
nickysonic:
Update, boy!!! I look forward to yr journals!
10 things I want to say (and mean it) before I die:
1. Now now ladies, no need for the two of you to fight over little old me.
2. Follow that car!
3. And I would have gotten away with it too, if it wasn't for you meddling kids.
4. Now now ladies, no need for the three of you to fight over little...
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1. Now now ladies, no need for the two of you to fight over little old me.
2. Follow that car!
3. And I would have gotten away with it too, if it wasn't for you meddling kids.
4. Now now ladies, no need for the three of you to fight over little...
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VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
maelwys:
Aha! I do not use Kung-Fu! For the Schwartz is my ally
creamygoodness:
Aaah, I see your Schwartz is as big as mine!
my story of pikey fucktards acting all pikey fucktardish ends with me getting a punch in the face and so isnt worth regailing you with, suffice to say they dont like accusations of homosexuality being levelled at them... meep.