creamygoodness

I feel loved right now (not necessarily due to the speedy deluge of birthday messages, although that certainly helps). It is a happy, happy feeling. All I need now is ot feel lurved (three nights a week and sunday mornings for preference) and I would genuinely feel utterly content.
To mah girlies (you know who you are): Thank you for being here and thank you...
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Ok. So I had an... umm... 'interesting' conversation at work today with my middle-aged female asian colleague. I handle all the Videos and DVDs at work, so I'm talking to ehr and she says something along the lines of "Well if you come across any more movies like Unfaithulf, you know, erotic thrillers, something a bit steamy, you let me know."

Now, being the utter...
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Well I had a spiffy weekend. It started off on friday when I spent the afternoon showing catcher round Camden and watching him scamper about gleefully and damn near wet himself with excitement as he stepped into Cyberdog. Awww, tourists are so cute

Later on I trundled over to Chez munch's to meet him and Doplex for a night of no drinking and DVDs....
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I decided to do something slightly different this time round, rather than recount my not-too-eventful life (glowsticks, frottage and insulting members of the public aside) or write something intended to delight and amuse, I ahve decided that what the world really needs is to get excited about the same things I am. Yes, I am come amongst you all like the very paragon of good...
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Well... I certainly saw in the New Year in style. If, by style, you mean in an idiotic drunken stupour.

Yes, surprise surprise, I ended 2004 in much the same way that I begun it, by getting wasted in The Ship with some of the finest collection of reporbates you could ever wish for. Roll call time peeps:

Doplex (even though he was a big...
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A couple of things:

First of all, I pick up my pen (figuratively) and do the first bit of creative writing I've attempted in months and get 12 journal comments. I scrawl a few lines about cutting my nutsack in the shower and get 25. Goddamn you vulturous bastards.

Second of all, a few weeks back we had another person called Ben starting to work...
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AAARRGGHH! BASTARD WHORE-FUCKING BITCH-STABBING CUNTY ASS-FESTERING NO-GOOD POO-STABBING FUCKITY FUCKITY FUCK FUCK FUCK SHITBRICK KNOB-JOCKEYING RECTUM-SPELUNKING CUNTY-MINTS FUCK-SOCKS SON-OF-A-ALBANIAN-MIDGET-WRESTLER VAGINAS!

I have just sliced my bloody nutsack open with a fresh razor-blade and, if that wasn't enough, used an analgesic stick to stop the bleeding so now my loins feel as if they have BEEN DIPPED INTO THE VERY FIRES OF HADES.

WHY CAN'T YOU...
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I sometimes wonder if I sound like something of a broken record, coming to you every other journal entry with yet more tales of the strange collection of absolute fucking nutcases that seem to frequent the library in which I work. That said, however, some stories are just so fucking bizarre they simply demand to be related to you, my unfortunate audience.

So my library...
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The following started writing itself in my head today as I sat at the counter, issuing people their cookery books and I couldn't think of anything else to do with it other than stick it up here. Make of it what you will. Tell me if you figure outt he point of it, cause I sure as hell can't:


They had lasted 6 months. Not...
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Ok. That's it. I've finially reached the end of the rope. I am, in fact, headed straight to Hell on the express elevator.

So I'm coming back from seeing The Incredibles with munch (awesome film, how Disney think they can survive without Pixar I'll never know) and sitting on the bust. This guy sits next to me when there's a bunch of empty seats at...
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