CURSES! Well it would appear that I was, in my last journal, taken in by an old urban myth. If you can't believe your mum's workmate's mother, who can you believe? IT'S MADNESS I TELL YOU.

So in lieu of anything extaordinarily exciting to say about my life as of late, here's an episode in the (not quite) ongoing series entitled "Things I probably shouldn't have said in mixed company"

"Hello little girl, would you lijke to get into my unmarked white van and look at some puppies?"

then later

"I don't know what the fuss is about, it was only a harmless joke about child molestation"

"So is your daughter seeing anyone at the moment?"

"So my friend told me to tell you that she wants to fist you."

"Oh please, I could totally take your boyfriend in a fight."

"You're just copying my entire life, aren't you? That's it. I'm going to get my nipples pierced just to see what you do."