A DAY IN MY LIFE VIA SELECTIVE QUOTATION:
"Ok, today I'm going to show you guys a little bit on how to set up and start using you own e-mail account"
"Ok, so if you could just click the white address bar near the top of your screen... the big white bar... near the top fo the screen... says 'address next to it'... the one that takes up almost the entire width of the screen... THERE."
"Ok, if you could just click the envelope icon on the right-hand side of the big red logo in the middle of your screen. No... that's left, not right. Nor is it an envelope. No, that's even further left, now you're not even slightly right."
"No, you can't use the centre... because you're not over 16... because you put your date of birth down on the form as being in 1991... it appears only one of us here is capable of elementary maths."
"Now if you could left-click the mouse on the 'Start button'.. you pushed the middle button. How could you confuse middle with left? Right with left, maybe, but I've never seen anyone confuse middle with left before."
"No. I'm afraid I can't help you set up a business on the Internet. Because it's a time-consuming process and I wouldn't have the first idea where to start, especially if you don't even know what kind of business. No... it is not my job to help you start a business."
"No, I'm afraid I can't come over to your house to fix your computer... because I'm at work.... well, HERE."
"Yes, this is your printing, don't try and lie to me... I know because you're the only one in this room looking at Michael Jackson message boards."
"No I don't fancy you, you might want to wait until after I've suffered some kind of head injury for that."
EDITZORZ:
Well I add that entry, and then some of these beauties crop up
"No, you can't refer to your mate as 'your nigger'. Why? Because you're 7 and you're whiter than Michael Jackson... No, you can't... LOOK, you don't get to use that word, ok?"
(said via text message to my friend after hearing her new boyfriend had seen the last message I sent her and is now both paranoid and slightly afraid of me) "So are you shagging him yet? Come on, don't let the side down, you've got people trying to live vicariously through you here. DROP TROU AND HAVE AT HIM!"
"Ok, yes, I'm sorry you can't watch your wrestling match. If you want, we'll go outside and I'll pay two homeless people to pretend to hit each other. That work for you?"
"Ok, today I'm going to show you guys a little bit on how to set up and start using you own e-mail account"
"Ok, so if you could just click the white address bar near the top of your screen... the big white bar... near the top fo the screen... says 'address next to it'... the one that takes up almost the entire width of the screen... THERE."
"Ok, if you could just click the envelope icon on the right-hand side of the big red logo in the middle of your screen. No... that's left, not right. Nor is it an envelope. No, that's even further left, now you're not even slightly right."
"No, you can't use the centre... because you're not over 16... because you put your date of birth down on the form as being in 1991... it appears only one of us here is capable of elementary maths."
"Now if you could left-click the mouse on the 'Start button'.. you pushed the middle button. How could you confuse middle with left? Right with left, maybe, but I've never seen anyone confuse middle with left before."
"No. I'm afraid I can't help you set up a business on the Internet. Because it's a time-consuming process and I wouldn't have the first idea where to start, especially if you don't even know what kind of business. No... it is not my job to help you start a business."
"No, I'm afraid I can't come over to your house to fix your computer... because I'm at work.... well, HERE."
"Yes, this is your printing, don't try and lie to me... I know because you're the only one in this room looking at Michael Jackson message boards."
"No I don't fancy you, you might want to wait until after I've suffered some kind of head injury for that."
EDITZORZ:
Well I add that entry, and then some of these beauties crop up
"No, you can't refer to your mate as 'your nigger'. Why? Because you're 7 and you're whiter than Michael Jackson... No, you can't... LOOK, you don't get to use that word, ok?"
(said via text message to my friend after hearing her new boyfriend had seen the last message I sent her and is now both paranoid and slightly afraid of me) "So are you shagging him yet? Come on, don't let the side down, you've got people trying to live vicariously through you here. DROP TROU AND HAVE AT HIM!"
"Ok, yes, I'm sorry you can't watch your wrestling match. If you want, we'll go outside and I'll pay two homeless people to pretend to hit each other. That work for you?"
VIEW 25 of 42 COMMENTS
coldandwet:
Nice to meet u creamy. Hope u had a good time rocking out and apologies or any incoherance on my part. 10am in the moring is not my brightest hour!
matt_organic:
It is indeed me, the head has been shaved for a few months now. The job was billed to me as both fast-track and data entry, but it's really neither. The fast-track part is plainly bollocks, since I've been there for 9 months and don't have a contract yet - and it's more admin stuff that data entry. Needless to say, I'm looking for something else - but once you've done office work for more than about a month it's very difficult to get considered for anything else by an employer.