Ok. So I had an... umm... 'interesting' conversation at work today with my middle-aged female asian colleague. I handle all the Videos and DVDs at work, so I'm talking to ehr and she says something along the lines of "Well if you come across any more movies like Unfaithulf, you know, erotic thrillers, something a bit steamy, you let me know."
Now, being the utter buffoon that I am, I decided to make a bit of a joke about it "Well, you know how I'm always at Soho every weekend, right? If you wanted I could always pop along to one of the more 'specialised' shops and bring you back some videos."
And lo, the flood-gates opened.
"Oh my God! You would?! Do you watch that sort of thing yourself?!" For 10 minutes I had one of the most horrifying conversations of my life with this collleague about pornography, whether or not I look at it, where I get it from, her opinion of it, how she can't get it and how wonderful and magical sex is. Then came the most spine-chilling part of all "You say you get yours off the Internet, I don't suppose you could, um, email some to me so I could watch it at home could you? I can't get it myself as I filtered the internet axccess so my kids couldn't see any of that stuff. No, I suppose it's too big to e-mail. Say, you know how you put that video on CD that one time, I don't suppose you could do that, could you?"
So now the upshot of it is my colleague wants me to make a CD full of porn for her. This is what I get for not believing in God. Why does this shit keep happening to me? I work in a library for God's sakes, my life should be quiet and dull, and full of books.
The thing is... this is me we're talking to here, and I think I'm going to do it because, well, hell, this is just too damn funny to pass up. The great thing about being so very amused at the sublime insanity of the world is that you're never short of things to laugh at. And it'll be great to be able to tell people I did it "Yeah man, I used to work in a library. I told everyone about my adventures in pimping, made them refer to me as 'Ben the Magnificent' and was the porno hook-up for all my colleagues."
The thing is though, what kind of porn do you get for a middle-aged asian woman? That's when I decided to throw it open to you bunch of freaks and degenerates. Give me some ideas as to what to include on this here CD, but try to avoid mentioning any specific sites, I don't want anyone zotted on my account.
Now, being the utter buffoon that I am, I decided to make a bit of a joke about it "Well, you know how I'm always at Soho every weekend, right? If you wanted I could always pop along to one of the more 'specialised' shops and bring you back some videos."
And lo, the flood-gates opened.
"Oh my God! You would?! Do you watch that sort of thing yourself?!" For 10 minutes I had one of the most horrifying conversations of my life with this collleague about pornography, whether or not I look at it, where I get it from, her opinion of it, how she can't get it and how wonderful and magical sex is. Then came the most spine-chilling part of all "You say you get yours off the Internet, I don't suppose you could, um, email some to me so I could watch it at home could you? I can't get it myself as I filtered the internet axccess so my kids couldn't see any of that stuff. No, I suppose it's too big to e-mail. Say, you know how you put that video on CD that one time, I don't suppose you could do that, could you?"
So now the upshot of it is my colleague wants me to make a CD full of porn for her. This is what I get for not believing in God. Why does this shit keep happening to me? I work in a library for God's sakes, my life should be quiet and dull, and full of books.
The thing is... this is me we're talking to here, and I think I'm going to do it because, well, hell, this is just too damn funny to pass up. The great thing about being so very amused at the sublime insanity of the world is that you're never short of things to laugh at. And it'll be great to be able to tell people I did it "Yeah man, I used to work in a library. I told everyone about my adventures in pimping, made them refer to me as 'Ben the Magnificent' and was the porno hook-up for all my colleagues."
The thing is though, what kind of porn do you get for a middle-aged asian woman? That's when I decided to throw it open to you bunch of freaks and degenerates. Give me some ideas as to what to include on this here CD, but try to avoid mentioning any specific sites, I don't want anyone zotted on my account.
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Many happy returns, creamy one!!!