creamygoodness

I sometimes wonder if I sound like something of a broken record, coming to you every other journal entry with yet more tales of the strange collection of absolute fucking nutcases that seem to frequent the library in which I work. That said, however, some stories are just so fucking bizarre they simply demand to be related to you, my unfortunate audience.

So my library has a couple of noticeboards where people can pay to put up adverts, like cards ina newsagent's window, all simple stuff so far. So I'm dealing with this guy, he's Indian and not got a lot of English, and I'm kind of running on autopilot. He gives me the advert and the money and wanders off, I'm just about to put the advert up when I actually stop to look at the front of it for the first time. Imagine my surprise when I read this:





Well... needless to say I was somewhat surprised, and after falling about laughing for a minute start to ponder just what the hell I'm going to do now. I decide to call the fella to tell him we can't put up his advertisement (I did this rather hesitantly as making myself understood to him is going to be a titanic struggle and I don't want him thinking I'm interested in applying). The conversation went a little like this:

Me: Excuse me, is this Karan?
Karan: Yes.
Me: It's the library here, I'm the gentleman who just took your advertisement.
Karan: Huh? What? You library?
Me: Yes, I'm from the library, Ithe advert you wanted to put up? I'm the one who took it.
Karan: Huh? Oh.
Me: I'm afraid we can't run this advertisement.
Karan: Uh? What?
Me: We can't run your advert.
Karan: Sorry... my English... not good...
Me: WE... CAN'T... PUT... UP... YOUR... ADVERT.
Karan: Oh... what?
Me: Look, it's illegal to attempt to marry in this country just to get a passport.
Karan: ... Sorry... I no understand...
Me: Oh for the love of... you can't marry someone to get a passport here.
Karan: ... What?
Me: WHAT YOU ARE DOING IS ILLEGAL AND WE CAN'T PUT UP YOUR ADVERT. COME INTO THE LIBRARY AND YOU CAN GET YOUR MONEY BACK. GOOD DAY SIR.
Karan: ... oh.


And I hung up the phone and I swear... I would have killed if only to get a picture of the expression of the face of the mum with her two children that was waiting next in the queue.



P.S. Thanks to all who said nice things about the piece in my last journal. Probably more to come at some point.