creamygoodness

I have a confession. As of late I've been something of a self-hating nerd. Not that I'm ashamed of my own nerdishness, not at all. I'll quite gleefully roll around in my huge pile of comic books whilst thinking bad things about Brian K Vaughn or Robert Kirkman and recently, between Bioshock, Stranglehold and, soon, Halo 3, you've barely been able to drag me away from my 360. No, it's those other nerds I hate. You know the type. the ones who could watch the, quite frankly, glorious new Iron Man Trailer and bitch and moan things like 'Oh I'm just so sick of Hollywood RUINING MY COMICS!' or 'God, no surprise to see they haven't made Tony Stark latin (aside: What the shit?). No doubt this is gonna suck' or who complain about the new Batman movie because Batman's not being played by Paul Dini despite the fact that Paul Dini looks like this. Nerds who could honestly and seriously suggest that the new Alien Vs Predator film feature literally ZERO human characters, no empathetic characters or points of view, not even any human dialogue, and that if a film WITH NO DIALOGUE AT ALL seemed a little out there, then they could subtitle the aliens with lines such as 'CREATURE COME! ALL PROTECT HIVE! KILL!'. Seriously.

Shut up. Seriously. Shut the fucking fuck up you ignorant retards and step away from the computer screen long enough for the Mountain Dew buzz to wear off and take a look at the real world outside your basement you fuckwits. YOU are the reason Hollywood doesn't make films for nerds. You are spoiling it for the rest of us you joyless pricks so please retreat from here to masturbate tearfully over an anime figurine and post pictures of it on 4chan.

So yes, I've been letting the more retarded of our number get under my skin as of late, so I thought it a good idea to make this post to celebrate some of the better things nerds have done lately. Something to remind us all that sometimes that wonderful pot pourri of obsessions and knowledge that boils in the brains of my geeky bretheren overflows into something awesome.

YouConvertIt: A website that will take almost any kind of document, picture, video or audio and turn it into any other format, then e-mail you a link to the converted file. Do you have any idea how batshit crazy this is? I have a veritable battery of different programs to do the same damn thing and now I can do it with a single website? What in the fresh hell?

Final Fantasy VII: Voices of the Lifestream - Did you know there's a thriving scene for remixing and rearranging videogame music? On sites such as Overclocked Remix, VGMix (temporarily down for a rewrite), ReMix ThaSauce or any number of others, people are re-writing, re-recording and re-scoring classic game music into arrangements you'd never thought possible. Voices of the Lifestream is an album featuring around 40 different mixes from just one game.

Warp 11 - What's that you say? A cock rock band playing songs based on Star Trek? Yes please!

I'm gonna build a tractor beam into the front of my belt buckle
Lock on to an alien and draw her deep down in to suckle

I mean come on, how can you NOT love that?

Five-Part Study Of Batman's Logo - Now this is the kind of obsessive pursuit of knowledge and analysis that makes nerds simultaneously awesome and pathetic. An analysis of almost every iteration fo the Bat-Logo ever. I mean come on. Why?

30 Years of Stupid D&D Monsters - Yes my friends, that very geekiest of hobbies, role playing. Now if you'd have to spend 30 years trying to come up with new and exciting monsters for players to roll dice to beat up on, you'd come up with some duffers as well, which these guys sure did.

xkcd.com - Somehow maanges to be both the nerdiest and the most sweetly romantic webcomic on the Interwebs

Exhibit A
Exhibit B

Useful Things You Never Knew You Can Print - The title pretty much says it all.

Unicorn Love Is A Beautiful Thing - Second Life is an entry all it's own. An artificial world limited only by your coding skills and bandwidth, it's open-endedness has allowed the truly, gloriously bizarre underbelly of humanity to shine on through. For true artistry, however, for some of the very greatest in human ingenuity and endeavour, you need to look at the people who just want to fuck the whole thing up for everyone. Yes, my friend, griefers, people intentionally trying to ruin other people's fun. In other, more prosaic, games this would just involve things like killing you a lot. However, in Second Life, they can turn up to an online real estate tycoon's online conference and cause it to rain self-replicating penises. And then they put on museum exhibits about it. Just goes to show that, in a very strange way, it's often the fringes of society who drive technology and human endeavour