creamygoodness

Witness The Fitness says:
I'm in two minds about whether or not I'm going to go to the gym or sleep for three years
Ben says:
I would not expect you to have this sort of quandary
Witness The Fitness says:
I made it with a chick last night
Witness The Fitness says:
I am fatigued
Ben says:
Aah
Ben says:
Well then count that as your exercise and go sleep
Witness The Fitness says:
It is insufficient
Ben says:
Then you're quite clearly not being vigorous enough
Ben says:
I am disappointed
Witness The Fitness says:
There is only so much a human female can withstand to their puny frames
Witness The Fitness says:
I might have to re phrase that, it sounds as though I advocte the use of water buffalo as sexual partners
Ben says:
I always pegged you as a fucking furry
Witness The Fitness says:
Dude, If I was going to fuck a water buffalo, it'd be an original flavour one, not an anthropomorphised one
Witness The Fitness says:
I got standards
Ben says:
... *saves chatlog*
Witness The Fitness says:
Damn it, let me post this
Ben says:
Very well then
Witness The Fitness says:
AWESOME
Ben says:
So then, let's have some justification then as to how sexual congress with a water buffalo is superior to same with an anthropomorphised one? I would like to know what mental processes led you to make this kind of judgement
Witness The Fitness says:
it shows you have the courage of your convicts
Witness The Fitness says:
you're making a statement
Witness The Fitness says:
"Yes, I'm going to have sex with an animal"
Witness The Fitness says:
"I'm going to commit the grotesque crime of bestiality"
Witness The Fitness says:
You're not hiding behind juvenile pictures of sexy foxes and appalling fan art
Ben says:
So you're saying that, in effect, furries are limp-wristed half-hearted nancies who should have the courage of their convictions to damn well sneak onto Farmer Gile's estate and bag them some juicy cow arse?
Witness The Fitness says:
well yeah
Witness The Fitness says:
also, fucking a water buffalo is a dangerous action
Witness The Fitness says:
they're large and powerful animals
Witness The Fitness says:
if someone told me they'd put their winky in a water buffalo, I'd have a grudging respect for them
Ben says:
So you're saying it's kind of like xXxtreeeeeem! Beastiality?
Witness The Fitness says:
Well, no
Witness The Fitness says:
because I hate the generation xXx!!! -treme marketing buzz of board related and other "adrenaline" sports
Witness The Fitness says:
but it's got some sort of CHALLENGE cachet to it, yeah
Witness The Fitness says:
it's like the Matterhorn of Bestiality
Witness The Fitness says:
K2 would be a unrestrained tiger, or something
Ben says:
And Everest? An angry polar bear in the middle of the Artic maybe?
Ben says:
Because I think even I would buy a drink for the man who managed to perform in those kinds of conditions
Witness The Fitness says:
I dunno, maybe an elephant
Ben says:
gorilla on PCP
Witness The Fitness says:
It's not THAT dangerous, it's just a lot of hard work
Ben says:
What, an elephant?
Ben says:
And you've got to come prepared too
Witness The Fitness says:
obviously it's dangerous
Witness The Fitness says:
But compared to fucking an awake and alert tiger
Witness The Fitness says:
not so much
Witness The Fitness says:
it's more of an endurance event
Ben says:
Well exactly. Agility as well, you've got to be quick if you're going to get the stepladder in the right place
Witness The Fitness says:
I was thinking some sort of harness, lashing myself to the back
Witness The Fitness says:
hoping it doesn't try and rub me off against a tree
Ben says:
That is a possibility, but you've still got to get up there and get yourself strapped in
Ben says:
Plus how are you going to lash yourself to it? Are you going to run the straps all the way around the elephant?
Ben says:
You could use some kind of harpoons I supose, but that would most likely agitate it somewhat
Witness The Fitness says:
I was thinking maybe some sort of adhesive patches
Ben says:
Perhaps something involving many sheets of flypaper
Witness The Fitness says:
nah
Witness The Fitness says:
nothing improvised
Witness The Fitness says:
Something heavy duty, industrial epoxy
Ben says:
You take your elephant sodomy seriously then I see
Ben says:
I'm reminded of that old loctite (I think that's what it was called) advert of a man stuck to a large board suspended from a building
Witness The Fitness says:
as a theoretical exercise yes
Witness The Fitness says:
thats the stuff
Ben says:
So what points of contact are going to be stuck? You need to be free to move for obvious reasons
Ben says:
I'm thinking shins and forearms, that lets you get good adn hooked in whilst still giving you a range of motion adequate for a good humping
Witness The Fitness says:
nah
Witness The Fitness says:
no chance to escape
Witness The Fitness says:
if things go wrong
Witness The Fitness says:
get your self one of those swing seats that they use for painting buildings and bridges and such
Ben says:
Aah, cunning
Witness The Fitness says:
epoxy up the strap ends
Witness The Fitness says:
then if things go bad, you can disengage and MAKE GOOD YOUR ESCAPE!
Ben says:
It would probably be a good idea to epoxy on a pair of handles while you're at it
Ben says:
There'll probably be some bumping around, you'll want some leverage
Witness The Fitness says:
WHEN MSN CONVERSATIONS GO BAD
Ben says:
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