creamygoodness

I have some strange conversations with my friends:

Ben says:
Why is it all ex's seem to be completely bugfuck crazy?
Ben says:
Do WE seem that way to them do you wonder?
Never fear, Matt is here!! says:
i think so. But hey thats women for ya!
Never fear, Matt is here!! says:
completely random as they are
Ben says:
It's because they have secondary and tertiary brains in their breasts. Weh hve no breasts, ergo no extra brains. And rather than making them smarter, the brains just conflict with the primary brain, causing Fatal Exception Errors
Ben says:
Much like trying to install 3 seperate processors onto one motherboard
Never fear, Matt is here!! says:
good analogy
Ben says:
Thanks. And of course, trying to interface with such a confusing system just leaves you with a 3 1/2 inch floppy
Never fear, Matt is here!! says:
we are rapidly becoming a dead technology, men arent future proof
Ben says:
I'm thinking of painting Little Creamy white and calling him iCock in the hope it drives the ladies wild with fits of heady consumer lust
Ben says:
You could do the same, you could be the iCock Nano
Never fear, Matt is here!! says:
what are you trying to say?!
Ben says:
Just that you represent the next paradigm shift in 'on the go' entertainment
Never fear, Matt is here!! says:
oh i thought you meant i had a small cock.
Ben says:
Well I was thinking it but I thought it best not to say
Never fear, Matt is here!! says:
tut tut
Never fear, Matt is here!! says:
you could have rode on space mountain, but you just made yourself too short to go on the ride
Ben says:
It's ok, I'm sure Space Mountain would just have made me nauseous anyway
Never fear, Matt is here!! says:
yeah, it does contain scenes of mild peril.

(on reflection, that might explain much about why I am currently single)

Awfully English: I was wondering if you had some news you wanted to share
Awfully English: Anything you might have, oh I don't know, told a mutual acquaintance recently?
twclabds quintin: hmmm well the other night i had a sex dream
twclabds quintin: i was having sex with a top hat on
twclabds quintin: and there was a pengiun watching
twclabds quintin: it made me feel totally uncomfortable
twclabds quintin: but it was cool
Awfully English: Ok... that's fucked-up, but not what I was looking for
twclabds quintin: care to give me a hint?
Awfully English: How about something like you getting married in the UK in 2 and a half years?
twclabds quintin: oh that
twclabds quintin: i thought i told you that

(I have known this fellow since I was about 17. He is my longest enduring intarweb friend and I've never once met him. this conversation does not surprise me in the slightest)

Ok, I admit it, I am needy. Needy, needy Creamy. I must have validation! Do my Johari! Do my Nohari!