So as I peel off a hardened pearl of my own dried blood from my arm that I missed earlier in the hospital, I dab at the congealed plugs in my nostrils and think to myself: Wow. What a monumentally shitty night.
Bah, well, I've certainly had better days. Aah well, it's all work-related cobblers, and I won't bore you with it. Suffice to say that I've been cheering myself up with a dose of DOCTOR TRAN!
HOT DICKINGS!
Went to City Invasion on sunday and it was much fun. Got to see some pretty good bands in the company of munch, Jackie, Saffa,... Read More
First of all, guess who DIDN'T have to dress up like a teddybear to entertain small children today, due to problems getting the costume? BOO-YAH! Yes, that's right, unfortuantely taking my camera into work was all for nowt as the big foam teddy head and such didn't arrive as planned. Not that I was that torn up about it, especially in this heat.
I can't say I have anything of particular import to say at the moment, yet I find myself updating anyway. Ho hum. In that case, then, let me amuse you with yet another bizarre MSN conversation. I don't know how I end up in these.
Witness The Fitness says:
I CAN SEE YOU
Ben says:
That is because I am here... Read More
I wanna get some polar bears that can shoot lasers from their eyes. They could be like my crack team of assassins sent out on to the streets to incinerate emo kids, chavs, trendies and other general scum of the earth.
The following entry may be somewhat random. Blame this on a mind perpetually ping-ponging between subjects like a pinball machine being played by a deaf blind mute called Tommy. Oh yes, and also on the inebriation (which is like being drunk, but classier. And we all know I'm ALL about the class).
So I just got back from the pub for a goodbye drink for... Read More
Eh up, it'd be so so so so so so so so good if you could make it down on Friday. If not we'll have to meet up for some drunken' tomfoolery when I get back from Greece.
Just thought I'd let you know that I haven't melted yet!!! But it was touch and go on Sunday when I was out and about in it.
So. I haven't updated for a while as I really haven't had much to say. No amusing nutters at work, no near knife-fights, no screaming schizpohrenics, I feel quite cheated. There was, however, the co-worker who has apparently been saying behind my back that she thinks I'm lovely, but a bit strange. and also gay. this amuses me way more than it probably should, but... Read More
- My neck is fucked, probably from headbanging.
- My ankle's fucked, most likely from skanking. Badly.
- My thumb is fucked, I think I might have landed on it awkwardly in the hotel room, inbetween singing Stephen Lynch to people and telling them to fuck off.
- My emergency bottle of Jack is completely gone.
- I appear to be... Read More
Maybe not as rock but it was in a fight with a one tonne animal before it slammed me against into a wall of 44 gallon drums. Bastard ponies. We should pit JBJ against a shetland and take bets. I take "bubbles" anyday, 4:1 even!
Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you yet another in the unending series of 'Creamy and his Adventures with Utter Fucking Nutbars'. I swear to God, I need someone to hurry the fuck up and invent lunatic repellant.
Creamy and the tale of the Man with a 'Bad Bus' Girlfriend
So I was waiting at the bus stop after work, tired after a long day... Read More
EDIT: Holy motherfucking shit! YES LORDI! THE DAY OF ROCKENING IS NOW!
Ben says:
*Preens smugly*
well shit me says:
hehe, bless you
Ben says:
Well I have to find my opportunities to be smug where I can
Ben says:
Which isn't easy when you're shockingly insecure
well shit me says:
you should be smug all the time
well shit me says:
youre awesome
Ben... Read More
Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you a weekend spent in the company of SGUK via the medium of selective quotation:
"I'm horrified, but I'm still going to check the website."
"All I'm saying is if you're all going on tour together, you need to get tested. You never know what's going to happen"
"*Wheeze* You dirty, dirty... *wheeze*... fuckers"
"When he comes it's black... Read More
Don't live for the moment -- live for the constant
Die for what's right or get killed by your conscience
There's a difference between conscience, conscious and conscientious
Contrary to popular belief
You're none of these
That's right folks, Sage Francis still rocks my little angsty leftist world. Well my leetle online porno chummies, what have you been up to recently?
Well that was certainly a wacky old time my lovelies. As many of you know and the rest may well ahve deduced, this weekend was the birthday celebration for almostfamous, foralways and Jackie (although it's not her's until next week, but fuck it, any excuse to celebrate). There were entirely too many people to name check them all, but you were all lovely. Except... Read More
Sorry I never got chance to say goodbye or anything, I was so violently ill after someone made me drink whiskey that I had to go back to my hotel room and die
Was good to see you again, and hopefully we can catch up again soon
So, i confuse you do I????
Or is that just when you're posting while steeped in alcohol?
Or then again, are you refering to my moment of loony type behaviour last time we met up?
Ah well, i hope you'll be around on saturday and then you can explain.
s yaw 
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