crazywhitegirl

Ugh, I'm all chipper and happy again. I'm not upset by it but it's not gonna last. I'm gonna randomly hate my life and contemplate suicide and cry all the time again.... I dunno what I need to do. Fuck psychs, they don't give a fuck. I haven't had a good one in so long. They are impossible to get too cuz everyone is so fucking depressed and crazy the waiting lists are insane. Stupid America!!!

I am gonna do my hair tonight maybe, I always feel happier when I feel pretty. My tattoo is very pretty, I've gotten lots of compliments on it already. It's all bruised way worse now and looks kinda gross but I don't care

I went to the heeb and bought groceries. I made pork chops for dinner and they were fucking good. Ben went to sit on the couch when I made the table and I got a little upset. If I am going to go thru the trouble to make a nice meal you could at least stop watching TV long enough to eat with me at the table! Then I yelled at him and blah blah he finally came to eat with me. I'm trying not to yell or be a bitch. I'll just take a deep breath and say "That's alright dear, I understand." Then he ends up looking like a jerk He said it was fucking delicious though and went to get my laundry out of the dryer so it's all good.

Larry is getting big. I think I'm going to start feeding him every 5 or 6 days now. I was looking at pics when I got him and he's definitely a LOT bigger. Aw cute little baby!!

I want to start my . It's very rare I *want* it to happen but I'm a little freaked out and if it just comes I can stop holding my breath.... then you kno if you get all freaked out and worry and stress it can prolong it even longer. stupid body