After this weekend, I am completely finished with female friends. They are catty...they keep mental lists of everything you've ever done to wrong them...they just can't let go and move on...they do not make sense. If something bothers them, why not bring it up at that moment instead of waiting five years to rehash past events that are no longer controllable? The same holds true for girlfriends with whom you've had sexual involvement. Guys, you know exactly what I'm talking about!
Male friends are never that way. When they get angry, they speak their mind, have it out and then two minutes later, they're friendly again as if nothing happened in the first place. Why are females so damn different? Sure, there are friends that don't adhere to those male/female roles, but they are extremely rare and always appreciated.
All the problems I'm having recently are definitely related to changes in my own personality. I have recognized specific areas of my personality (and in turn, my life and the way I deal with certain situations) that I am unhappy with. This has taken me a long time to accomplish. I no longer want to be that meek, timid, people-pleasing person I've been for my entire life. I want self-confidence. I want to value myself and my opinions, something I have never done before. I want to trust my own instincts. I need to have friends that love me for who I am, not who I should be or who I pretend to be. I need friends that accept me for who I am, even if I don't know who I am.
Now that I have the areas identified that I need to improve in order to recover my self-worth, I have begun to initiate small changes in my behavior. This is an exceedingly long process as well. Small changes require reinforcement to keep the old habits from creeping back in.
Making positive changes in yourself is so difficult when no one is accepting of them. The negative reactions I've been getting (as a result of my behavior modifications) are reinforcing the old behaviors I've used for my entire life so far. But I cannot let that stop me. I cannot let a few disapproving reactions and comments influence the wonderful things I am doing for myself. If my friends cannot see that, then they are not friends to begin with.
A wise man told me that people in my life wouldn't adapt well to changes in my personality, but I didn't believe him. I'm beginning to change that opinion. I struggle on a daily basis to mold who I want to be into the person that the people in my life still accept. Meshing these two characters is the most difficult thing I have ever done.
Because of all of this, I've managed to loose two of the three best friends I've ever had in my life within the past year. Who's next??
Male friends are never that way. When they get angry, they speak their mind, have it out and then two minutes later, they're friendly again as if nothing happened in the first place. Why are females so damn different? Sure, there are friends that don't adhere to those male/female roles, but they are extremely rare and always appreciated.
All the problems I'm having recently are definitely related to changes in my own personality. I have recognized specific areas of my personality (and in turn, my life and the way I deal with certain situations) that I am unhappy with. This has taken me a long time to accomplish. I no longer want to be that meek, timid, people-pleasing person I've been for my entire life. I want self-confidence. I want to value myself and my opinions, something I have never done before. I want to trust my own instincts. I need to have friends that love me for who I am, not who I should be or who I pretend to be. I need friends that accept me for who I am, even if I don't know who I am.
Now that I have the areas identified that I need to improve in order to recover my self-worth, I have begun to initiate small changes in my behavior. This is an exceedingly long process as well. Small changes require reinforcement to keep the old habits from creeping back in.
Making positive changes in yourself is so difficult when no one is accepting of them. The negative reactions I've been getting (as a result of my behavior modifications) are reinforcing the old behaviors I've used for my entire life so far. But I cannot let that stop me. I cannot let a few disapproving reactions and comments influence the wonderful things I am doing for myself. If my friends cannot see that, then they are not friends to begin with.
A wise man told me that people in my life wouldn't adapt well to changes in my personality, but I didn't believe him. I'm beginning to change that opinion. I struggle on a daily basis to mold who I want to be into the person that the people in my life still accept. Meshing these two characters is the most difficult thing I have ever done.
Because of all of this, I've managed to loose two of the three best friends I've ever had in my life within the past year. Who's next??
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