I could use somebody.

Seriously, my friends came over from Kansas this weekend, and it showed me how much I like to be around people but how hard my life is, but also what I am missing.

They, Jered and Meghan, came to spend the weekend with me and their life looks absolutely amazing and I want to have a chance like that. I'm not saying I have to get married to achieve this, but they are absolutely awesome together and they inspired me because of it.

It just helps me to realize that their are people (and hopefully one person ..preferably a woman ) that are willing to help me and do whatever they can for me. And I make no excuse to why I am in this wheelchair beyond stupidity on my own part, but I love that they just seem to ...understand.

I DO NOT plan on being in this wheelchair and I WILL TRY from this day on to figure out my life and TRY to figure out how to get out of this fucking prison. I WILL NEED HELP, but you know what I am not opposed to asking, and I am not embarrassed that I am broken. Sure I will have my bad days but I CANNOT allow this to continue.

I am going to Mary Free Bed Rehabilitation Center (when the appointment gets set.. next week) and I am going to ask what I can do about my neck and therapy. I AM going to CARRY this weight.. I am going to remember who and what inspires me, and I AM going to walk again. (period).