Ok... first post here on SG.
Let's get things started asking this wonderful community a very simple question. Am I crazy?
Let me give you some context before you give me an answer.
My photo is fake, is just a random guy I've found on the internet. Most of the information in my profile are fake too. I'm a fake.
I'm a fake because I think the anonymity of being a fake is the only place where one can really be himself. My fake account is my utter form of transparency and truth.
(By now you may have already answered yes to my original question, I know, but bare with me a bit longer, please).
I've been a fan of Suicide Girls ... forever. I followed the website since it's very early days.
I've always found porn (no matter if hard or soft or whatever) somewhat ridiculous and not exciting. That's why I always loved the SG approach. A real community of real girls just being themselves and sharing ... who they are.
Suicide Girl is art at its finest. It's the place where fantasies, perversion, beauty, intellect, beautiful souls come together in a unique mix that no other site will every be able to match.
However I've never subscribed to Suicide Girls. Never even thought about it. I must admit like 10 years ago I occasionally sneaked in with some stole accounts (Ouch sorry) but I never felt the need to subscribe and join the community.
Pics were fantastics but not worth it. And I never experienced that spark that would have motivated me to subscribe. It's not about the money, I just had no interest in it.
Never I would have thought that one day I'd subscribe. Let alone writing a blog post here. Phew I'd have called crazy anyone who hinted this possibility.
And yet, here I am. A member, writing a blog post. A post asking you: am I crazy?
There are 2,912 girls right now in this community. I've checked only one. No offense for the other 2,911... they're all unique and beautiful, but I don't have any interest in them.
I've subscribed just for her. And not even to check her picture. SG does a pretty poor job on search engine. A lot of sites ripping of pictures here ranked above SG in Google. I had already seen most of her pictures before subscribing. And honestly... one picture more or less of her wonderful body doesn't make a huge different.
What the hell, now that I'm writing this I realize that I don't know why I've subscribed nor why I'm writing this. I know that I'm doing both things for her... or maybe in her honor. But I don't know why.
I remember the first time I saw her (well, one of her pics) in a totally casual way. It was an epiphany. I immediately felt that spark I had never experienced in 10 years. God she is beautiful.
The innocence of her face and the lust of her body mix in heavenly perfection. Her nickname, Zenit, could not be more appropriate. Wikipedia defines it this this way: "The zenith is the "highest" point on the celestial sphere".
Sure it's Zenith with an H but who am I to argue, my nickname is crashandburn1. I can guess the nickname she wanted was already taken. Or she was drunk. Anyway...
The spark I felt was a reflection of the spark in her eyes. She's beautiful... she's not the only one. Probably by everyone else's standard she's not even the most beautiful (she's to my eyes tho'). But the spark in her eyes is the reason I'm here.
I've failed at almost everything I've done. My flaws are by far more than my pros.
But there's one thing I've always been good at: recognizing at first sight a special, totally unique human being who's totally worth knowing better. No matter what. This is the first time I try this super power online but I'm 100% she won't let me down if I'll ever get to know her better.
When I saw the spark in her eyes and it reflected in my soul I think I experienced what all the great bohémienne artists felt when they first saw their muse.
The problem is... I'm not an artist. I cannot paint on a canva her beauty and make it immortal.
I'm not a poet and cannot describe the emotions she ignite with a smile to the world.
I'm not a... ok you got the point right ?
And this brings us back to my original question + 1.
Am I crazy?
And what the hell am I doing here ?
Seriously, has anyone here felt the way I feel now? Why did you subscribe to SG?
Thanks for reading through all this delirium
A fake Account
PS: While I am probably crazy. I'm not stupid. I'm not talking about love nor about falling in love with someone you don't know just by watching a picture.
Still, this doesn't make the spark I felt when I first saw her and I feel every time I watch her less special and unique. It's a wonderful sensation.