crackerman

I recently went for a job interview in MVC. It's only a part time job, and pretty much only for over the Christmas period, but I need money.

They asked me the usual in the interview, and I talked about my interest in music and movies and how Im planning to study film at university.

This place is heavy on selling music and DVD's, so as you can imagine I didnt get the job.

The letter they sent me didnt really explain why, but apparently my interests dont match what they're looking for. So...yeah. Anyway, I decided that I'll send them a letter thanking them for their time. Here it is:

Dear <name censored for some reason>

Thank you for the letter to inform me that I was not successful in my application for a part-time position at MVC. Fortunately, within the time that has passed since the interview I have discovered a new vocation and, what I feel to be, my calling in life.
I have decided to take to the seven seas as a nefarious pirate. I hope to set the waves ablaze with legends of my pillaging and plundering as the merciless Master of the Sea.
With this new career opportunity comes the requirement of a crew, therefore I am making an open offer to any 12 of your staff who feel they are up to a life of skulduggery and wrong-doings. Of particular importance is the opening of a first mate to serve as my right hand man (particularly since I have sawn off my right hand and replaced it with a makeshift hook constructed from a coat hanger) and someone with which to drink rum and sing ancient sea shanties.
Applicants must be goal-orientated, be able to work as part of a team as well as on their own initiative, have an understating of how to conduct themselves as a public figure, not suffer from sea-sickness and possibly have at least one peg-leg and/or parrot.
I wish you good luck in your future endeavours and will continue to frequent your store, ye scurvy dogs.

YAAARRRs sincerely,
Capt. No Beard

I'll be sending it sometime around the weekend.