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crackedhead

Hell in a handbasket

Member Since 2004

Followers 2 Following 0

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Thursday Jun 30, 2005

Jun 29, 2005
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Ha ha motherfuckers, that's right, I haven't updated in a month. Whatchagoingtadoaboutit!?! Er, sorry, that is a pretty shitty way to start a journal entry. First of all, I am pretty wasted right now. I decided to stop drinking so much, but right now for olde tymes sake I am pretty fucked on Jager. But whatever.

Nothing really exciting is going on. I just found out tonight that I failed my math class. I needed a C to pass and I was pretty sure I wasn't going to get anything higher than a D, and I was right. Math is totally my worst subject, it sucks massive balls. The major I am aiming for is more of a creative one, and I really don't understand where math comes in. Sure, I can add and subtract, even without a calculator. But seriously, for 95% of the population adding and subtracting is a sufficent amount of knowledge. Unless mathematics is a gift, anything above what you learn from kindergarten through high school is just a waste of time.

I am really shitting bricks about the whole money thing. I'm in the process of growing the balls to close an account I really don't want to close in attempt to delay my hitting rock bottom. In September it will have been three years since I have worked. For some it may seem like a simple premise, if you really need to, get off your ass and work. Well to some it might be that easy, but to perpetual losers like me, it isn't. Spending almost three years of your adult life doing whatever the fuck you want, whenever the fuck you want, can make getting your act together a shitty task. But anywho, all that crap is my problem, so I will either grow up and fix it or I will...something, I can't quite rap my head around the fact that I might be that much of a fuck up.

I saw Batman Begins on one of the very first screenings in my area. I love this movie so much. I was going to see it two day later on Friday, but I decided to hold out to see it on the IMAX in San Jose. Hopefully I will get to that pretty soon. This movie was one of the first movies I had seen in the theater since September 2004, the last being Resident Evil: Apocalypse, I believe. I am a wannabe film student who has come realize that he might not be as good as he has imagined. This is mostly due to all the lame student film projects I've done over the last almost four years. This brings me to my next point...

Despite my negative creative experiences, I am not completely ready to give up. I think it might be a good time to take a break from school and rediscover my creative urges. I think being somewhat forced to create on someone else's schedule and witnessing the dreadfully embarassing results might have soured me on the whole thing. I am hoping that a break from this kind of stuff will help create a sort of personal renaissance. My interest in music, film, and my recently rediscovered interest in photography will hopefully remain through my inevitable insertion into the American workforce.

On a lighter note, as I may have said before I am tired of the default SG profile pic. It is my goal tonight to find a suitable image for my profile. Until then, TTFN, SGers.
mad puke
alabama:
ahh, so you like dead babies too, i see! i really don't mean to be an asshole. just think sometimes you gotta say what you're feelin' right... um..... sure i think babies with pins in their eyes is funny... but really who doesn't?
Jul 8, 2005

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