coyotekid

First, a small thought: Why don't humans come with self-destruct buttons? It would make things so much easier.

So the ex told me she wanted to discuss the housing situation, but being that I was already anxious as a motherfucker and wound up, I didn't want to talk about it right at that moment. Well, she pressed the issue. I told her I don't even know where I would go at this point. I keep thinking of the Northern part of the state, but just when I settle on it, I get cold feet. I'd be moving away from most of the people that rely on me. People that I rely on too. Anyway, it makes me nervous just thinking about it, which of course heightens the anxiety. Then she tells me her boyfriend wants to move in in two weeks...

Now I can put on a big show and put up a fight and say "Hell no." But the end result is still the same: I still feel like I'm not welcome here. Not welcome anywhere, really. Which makes the depression even worse. I've no one to talk to about it. Nowhere to go. No job. No REAL home because it's been evident from the moment she told me she wanted to split that she resented me being here. So now...well...who the fuck knows?

Thank the Powers that Be for liquid therapy.