coygirl

i'm doing something that really matters to me, but i don't feel the drive to get out of bed to come to work as often as i should. i tend to slack off, procrastinate, but still get everything done. and yet, i have a great job that i should love. but there's always something else i would rather be doing...and i'm sure that when i do that something else, i'll find something else i'd rather be doing than that.

i am perpetually restless. but yet i have passion for what i do and passion for many things...

you're not nuts, nor alone.

I understand this very well... I have my professional work and then I have all of my personal work that is always being put on the back burner. I keep thinking that I will get to it... but I spend so much energy with the business that I don't have anything else for myself and the work that is important to me. The sad thing is that the business stuff was never really a passion. It started as a way to at least be creative in my work life rather than waiting tables or the like and creating in my off time.

I still find passion in work I guess. It just is in the little things. the chasing the idea...boiling things down to their essence...bringing it all together into something that people get excited about. But I really don't want to see the work anymore after it's finished, it has become more about the process of creating and going on to the next thing.

I guess that I still believe that I am going to be able to walk away at some point with some savings and focus on the many different artistic outlets that I am really interested in. I think that it will be about the process then to. I hope so... I would hate to think that I have spent all these years in design and be left an empty shell for myself in the end.

So ya, got kind of off topic. but when I am not exhausted, I still gots some passion.