Ok! Hey Y'all!
This is my first {ever} blog so it's probably going to sound like a bunch of ramblings...
First and foremost, I wanted to thank the Suicide Girls community for the overwhelming amount of love I have received on my very first set "Spirit of Change". It made this once Hopeful, the SG that you see before you.
A very personal thank you to @peacockeyephotog and our long running history of work together. I couldn't have done it without you! I have loved being your muse over the years and creating the magic that we do. To many more !
We shot "Spirit of Change" in late February/early March 2019 when I was wrestling with tough decisions and the changes they would bring.
I took that path of change in April 2019, and struggled with the consequences the remainder of 2019. However painful this new unknown would be, it was less painful than the stagnant space I was stuck in. I looked at 2019 as mostly "growing pains" and that it would only be something to add to my arsenal of dealing with life.
I had made real progress by June 2019. I got my first studio apartment, I was being more caring to myself, I was enjoying my summer in a brand new city with new friends and new experiences. All of that fell apart, sadly, the same weekend I went Pink.
It was poetic in a way, that I would become a Suicide Girl during one of my darkest moments of 2019.
November 2nd, 2019 my best friend was critically injured when he fell off a four-story building. All the progress I had made from March to October had crumbled away with this news. Worst was, I couldn't even see him because our friendship ended on unfriendly terms.
November 4th, 2019 my set became the Set of the Day and I became a Suicide Girl.
I couldn't allow myself to even be fully happy for myself because the one person I wanted to share this victory with was unconscious in the Trauma Unit at NorthWestern Hospital.
My depression was drowning me. I tried to remain positive for him, for his family, for myself but the darkness was too great at times. I contemplated taking this new title I had be awarded and putting merit behind it.
I climbed out of this darkness by re-focusing on my art, my dreams, my goals, and my health.
I can successfully say that, for 2020, I am leaving that trauma of 2019 in 2019, and riding those winds of change that my gypsy soul calls for.
"Spirit of Change" did more for me than I thought it ever would; such is the magic of art.
Thank you all for allowing me to share it with you.
