I just can't understand why I've not been recruited by the CIA. I mean, I'm cool, I can keep a secret. I hardly ever talk. I was raised in Texas, so I'm damn good with a gun. And I have a bonafide passion for assassinating mutha fuckas. What must I do to get these guys' attention? Send a resume with a cover letter? I just don't get it. I would be the perfect agent; and other than my bum knees, tender spine, and bulging gut, I am the pillar of physical health. Don't these CIA bastards care about the future of espionage?
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