cosyne

***154 days remain ***

Hahahahaha!
As you all know I am a magnet for retards
Today was no exception
This motherfucker came into my work
He was like, "I'd like to purchase a pound of coffee beans, please."
And I'm all like, "Ok sure, you should try this coffee from Yemen. It's exquisite."
And he's all like, "Hey, those coffee beans smell really fantastic!! Here's my credit card!"
So I run his card through the machine
The batch is sent
The slips have printed
He takes a slip and a pen
He looks at the slip
He looks at me
I look at him
He says, "Oh I forgot to mention -- I'm from Oregon. So naturally I won't be paying sales tax on this transaction."
My eye twitched involutarily
I told him that I can't remove sales tax from a transaction
Especially a transaction that is um...like totally completed
He demanded a refund
I gave him his refund
He went to his car and shit his pants
I'm sure of it
Please God let him have driven back to Oregon with pants shit all up ins
Or at the very least please send him an annoying, but not fatal
URINARY TRACT INFECTION
Where he can't drink coffee at all for several weeks
Coffee is acidic you know
Duh
Anyway since I'm like totally a satanist and everything
(You can ask my friend Hottest Fashions)
God doesn't like me
I know this because after dealing with tax-free Oregon buttball
I had another customer service mishap after I got off of work
Fuh ktup!
While I'm at work I forget to eat
So after work I went to Pagliacci's Pizza
The pizza is ok
The clerks are homely as dickfish
But it's cheap and convenient
I went in
The girl behind the counter was frazzled for some reason
So I thought I would do her a favor by paying for my pizza at the regizter and then coming back to pick it up
I told the register guy, "One pepperoni, please."
I paid
Then I went back to the counter girl
I asked for a slice of pepperoni pizza
I told her I had already paid for it
She said the following words to me:

"Well, you're going to have to go back the register, get a refund, and then come back and tell me what you want. Then you can go pay for it. Here at Pagliacci's, you get your pizza first -- THEN you pay for it. We can't have everyone just doing it their own way."

I nearly killed

Then later tonight, I got fish and chips
The fish pieces were 2 triangles, 2 rhombuses, and a paralellogram
Why do I have suck fucking bad luck with goddamn fish and chips wherever I go?
Do any restaurants batter their own fucking fish anymore? Jesus!
All I want is some good fried fish
For fuck's sake!!
I'm so pissed I used 2 exclamation points in that last sentence
FUCK! Who the fuck decided that polygonal fish was a good idea?

It bears mentioning that irregardless of all the bullshit that went down today the AIDS Barbershop Quintet on Family Guy last night made like the next month and a half worthwhile