i think i should wear a billboard on my forehead. i can remember faces but not names, because i couldn't allow myself to get close to anyone especially female.
to a bit of back story
i grew up with a psycho bitch douche bag for a mother. having feelings was bad, feeling good, feeling happy, feeling sad, any feeling was bad. being attracted to a girl, forget about it, i could never show that. so what does one do that doesn't have access to alcohol or drugs, start cutting ones self & stay inside ones self. of course i could show as if nothing was ever wrong. all through school never a date, dance, or prom. i did have nice hair & a good butt, which shoot me already you know, i'm being told this from girls & i couldn't do anything about it. poor mrs. toni ritchie.
i went to a tech school & you had to go through all the different shops which included hair dressing & cosmetology & the girls in there damn fine. mrs. ritchie was one of the instructors in their one day she would ask me if i ever smile & i would say no. another day she asked if i ever talked, answer no, another question was about my hair. she said that i had nice hair & what did i use for shampoo which was flex, but i just shrugged my shoulders & mumbled i didn't know. i can't say people didn't try to break through my wall.
only pic i have of then, it is what it is.
so, when i graduated & was able to move away i did. i went to new hampshire to go to school for havoc. in class a furnace had a blowback & i was by it & got pulled back, stuff stuff stuff then we were laughing & it was pointed out that i was laughing then it was said that i laughed but it was in the inside so that took away some of the bricks in the wall. but, when you have such a low opinion of yourself & still have to deal with a psycho bitch douche bag of a mother just not enough
blah blah blah fast forward mid 30's got the bitch out of my life
after 23yrs away i moved back to my home town. what today spurred on todays writing do you ask
in grocery store & i see this adorable woman & i knew i knew her i just don't remember from where or when. she knew me & said hi & asked if i ran into her husband & i'm thinking her husband i don't even know how i knew her. i just feel i should apologize & go through the whole story about i should know them & why i don't. but here is where people can feel sorry for me, i can smile now but now i i shave my head 
to a bit of back story
i grew up with a psycho bitch douche bag for a mother. having feelings was bad, feeling good, feeling happy, feeling sad, any feeling was bad. being attracted to a girl, forget about it, i could never show that. so what does one do that doesn't have access to alcohol or drugs, start cutting ones self & stay inside ones self. of course i could show as if nothing was ever wrong. all through school never a date, dance, or prom. i did have nice hair & a good butt, which shoot me already you know, i'm being told this from girls & i couldn't do anything about it. poor mrs. toni ritchie.
i went to a tech school & you had to go through all the different shops which included hair dressing & cosmetology & the girls in there damn fine. mrs. ritchie was one of the instructors in their one day she would ask me if i ever smile & i would say no. another day she asked if i ever talked, answer no, another question was about my hair. she said that i had nice hair & what did i use for shampoo which was flex, but i just shrugged my shoulders & mumbled i didn't know. i can't say people didn't try to break through my wall.
only pic i have of then, it is what it is.
so, when i graduated & was able to move away i did. i went to new hampshire to go to school for havoc. in class a furnace had a blowback & i was by it & got pulled back, stuff stuff stuff then we were laughing & it was pointed out that i was laughing then it was said that i laughed but it was in the inside so that took away some of the bricks in the wall. but, when you have such a low opinion of yourself & still have to deal with a psycho bitch douche bag of a mother just not enough
blah blah blah fast forward mid 30's got the bitch out of my life
after 23yrs away i moved back to my home town. what today spurred on todays writing do you ask
in grocery store & i see this adorable woman & i knew i knew her i just don't remember from where or when. she knew me & said hi & asked if i ran into her husband & i'm thinking her husband i don't even know how i knew her. i just feel i should apologize & go through the whole story about i should know them & why i don't. but here is where people can feel sorry for me, i can smile now but now i i shave my head