No one in this god-forsaken pit of dust and illiteracy will give me a job. I stayed here to be obstinate because if Id gone back to Santa Rosa there would be so many people saying, I told you so, that I wouldve had to wipe out whole city populations.
On the other hand, staying in Bakersfield to prove a point is immature and self-destructive when Im missing my friends, my daughter, dont know how to pay rent from month to month, need car repairs and serious medical attention, and hate the school Im at. So, Ive decided to pack it up and head back up north.
I hate it up there even more than Bakersfield, but at least there are people up there who care enough about me not to let me go hungry or struggle endlessly with no hope of ever having a light at the end of the tunnel.
I guess one of the lessons in growing up is knowing when to say you made a mistake and give up the fight of proving otherwise to yourself and everyone else. Now if my car will just make the trip.
On the other hand, staying in Bakersfield to prove a point is immature and self-destructive when Im missing my friends, my daughter, dont know how to pay rent from month to month, need car repairs and serious medical attention, and hate the school Im at. So, Ive decided to pack it up and head back up north.
I hate it up there even more than Bakersfield, but at least there are people up there who care enough about me not to let me go hungry or struggle endlessly with no hope of ever having a light at the end of the tunnel.
I guess one of the lessons in growing up is knowing when to say you made a mistake and give up the fight of proving otherwise to yourself and everyone else. Now if my car will just make the trip.
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I still want to get together sometime. Whether that means I head up there or you come down here, let me know what your schedule accomodates or what you'd be interested in. I think that regardless of whether the group is down with getting together for Young Ones at DCLXVI's place, hanging out there is the plan for Friday. If you could make it as far as Burbank, I could drive the rest of the way down to her place. Just an idea...
love and murder,