Welcome to my little diatribe, I've been thinking about this for a while now, and just felt it needed to be put to the perverbial paper.
It can be a high burden to deal with the fact that 99% of the world prefer ignorance and blindess to reality and truth. Reality can be a harsh world that requires thick skin. It is also the most wonderful viscreal experience IN life.
But I guess before making a statement like that, I should explain a little better what I mean. A good 9/10 people are either physically, emotionally, or somehow incapable of realizing the reality that stares them in the face. Most of the rest would rather not accept it. So they convince themselves they don't see it and avert their eyes until finally they can't see. Ever since I was a small child, I've been able to transparently see how things worked around me. It interested me and caused me to strive to understand how everything else worked as well. How people worked, how mechanical things worked, and yes... admittedly there were times I wished myself ignorant as well. I'm not always right, but I'm usually pretty close or dead on.
I guess I shouldn't say see exactly how things work. I understand the nature of things, of people, of things around me. It's probably a good reason i've been a successful engineer. Half the battle is knowing what people really want, not what they say they want, then being able to accomplish it in a broad general way.
I know a few other people who are the same way, they see the world beneith the world. It really isn't so difficult, either, it's just below the surface... and the surface is quite shallow. People only need be willing to see the truth in things. Hell, it does make for a good party trick to be able to turn a situation.
We like to mask our behaviors with niceties, play games to get what we want, and do anything but be direct. We're taught to do this from birth, though. What it ends up doing is creating highly confused mammals not even sure what their own desires or emotions actually are in a situation. This leads to being easily manipulated. If you only feel your emotions in a general way, it is easy for others to convince you of what you are "actually" feeling.
I, myself am guilty of creating this facade. Though, rather than being instinctual or subconcious, I do it as a concious effort. There is the me people see in public, it's somewhat a shield/shell but more than anything it's a coping mechanism. To get along with people who are unwilling or incapable of accepting the base level I live at. It can be tiresome to maintain it though, and there are sometimes I really just want to say to people, "Hey, he's cheating on you... you can tell because he is incapable of looking you directly in the eyes when you hold his hand. He keeps looking around as if checking for someone else, and..." That sort of thing... or say "Hey, you know, your bravado doesn't properly mask your insecurities. Being loud and aggressive does not change what is wrong." etc.
It affords me the comfort of moving almost unnoticed in the world. But the issue I've been strugglign with is that... if I can anticipate people's reactions and work to manipulate situations to fit my whim, is that fair of me? It makes me feel as if I'm saying I'm better than all those around me and I have some sort of right. But then, to not do so seems almost as much denying reality and the nature of things as choosing not to see in the first place.
The sad thing is these people think they're free, and they want "freedom" without realizing that you have to be free of yourself, free to admit how you truly feel about something before you can even begin to have financial, physical, or any other sort of freedoms you may so desire.
I guess I have more to say about it, but I'll try to ponder out a few things. Reach some sort of a resolution perhaps.
It can be a high burden to deal with the fact that 99% of the world prefer ignorance and blindess to reality and truth. Reality can be a harsh world that requires thick skin. It is also the most wonderful viscreal experience IN life.
But I guess before making a statement like that, I should explain a little better what I mean. A good 9/10 people are either physically, emotionally, or somehow incapable of realizing the reality that stares them in the face. Most of the rest would rather not accept it. So they convince themselves they don't see it and avert their eyes until finally they can't see. Ever since I was a small child, I've been able to transparently see how things worked around me. It interested me and caused me to strive to understand how everything else worked as well. How people worked, how mechanical things worked, and yes... admittedly there were times I wished myself ignorant as well. I'm not always right, but I'm usually pretty close or dead on.
I guess I shouldn't say see exactly how things work. I understand the nature of things, of people, of things around me. It's probably a good reason i've been a successful engineer. Half the battle is knowing what people really want, not what they say they want, then being able to accomplish it in a broad general way.
I know a few other people who are the same way, they see the world beneith the world. It really isn't so difficult, either, it's just below the surface... and the surface is quite shallow. People only need be willing to see the truth in things. Hell, it does make for a good party trick to be able to turn a situation.
We like to mask our behaviors with niceties, play games to get what we want, and do anything but be direct. We're taught to do this from birth, though. What it ends up doing is creating highly confused mammals not even sure what their own desires or emotions actually are in a situation. This leads to being easily manipulated. If you only feel your emotions in a general way, it is easy for others to convince you of what you are "actually" feeling.
I, myself am guilty of creating this facade. Though, rather than being instinctual or subconcious, I do it as a concious effort. There is the me people see in public, it's somewhat a shield/shell but more than anything it's a coping mechanism. To get along with people who are unwilling or incapable of accepting the base level I live at. It can be tiresome to maintain it though, and there are sometimes I really just want to say to people, "Hey, he's cheating on you... you can tell because he is incapable of looking you directly in the eyes when you hold his hand. He keeps looking around as if checking for someone else, and..." That sort of thing... or say "Hey, you know, your bravado doesn't properly mask your insecurities. Being loud and aggressive does not change what is wrong." etc.
It affords me the comfort of moving almost unnoticed in the world. But the issue I've been strugglign with is that... if I can anticipate people's reactions and work to manipulate situations to fit my whim, is that fair of me? It makes me feel as if I'm saying I'm better than all those around me and I have some sort of right. But then, to not do so seems almost as much denying reality and the nature of things as choosing not to see in the first place.
The sad thing is these people think they're free, and they want "freedom" without realizing that you have to be free of yourself, free to admit how you truly feel about something before you can even begin to have financial, physical, or any other sort of freedoms you may so desire.
I guess I have more to say about it, but I'll try to ponder out a few things. Reach some sort of a resolution perhaps.
greenapplemary:
After St. Patty's AND Spring Break. I didn't even do anything crazy! I started a new job and had some family issues. WTH. Thanks for your support(sympathy? 
) Where are you going to school?
) Where are you going to school?