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corporate_punk

port orchird, wa

Member Since 2004

Followers 50 Following 72

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Saturday Jan 07, 2006

Jan 7, 2006
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another blog from myspace that i feel should be shared.

ok so yes another blog about women but wait this isnt about a certain one or a certain problem. i have began to notice that i have really started to check out older women. and when i say older i say late 20's early 30's. i havent messed around with anyone from this age range yet but i am really wanting too. all i have ever really messed around with are girls that are in the 18-20 range. i usually mess with this girls cause its easier for me to get with them and i dont have to do anything to really impress them. and when i am ready to leave i can easily disappear and nothing is said and there is no drama about it. but most of the time i want to get into a relationship. i want someone to challenge me and help turn me into something better then i am. someone that can help me rise up to my full potential. i want to be a better person instead of being a little whore and fucking anything that comes along and is willing to give me five mintues of attention. i know i crave attention and i guess i have a bit of a power problem. i like to control them and mess with their emotions even though i know better and shouldnt do it. i play with peoples emotions and its very easy for me. im not proud of myself but give me a break its one of the few things im good at. i guess part of it comes from all my management training and getting people to do things for me. i really dont know where it all comes from but i am getting tired of having this empty void of love and real compassion for people. at times i feel like im really fake. i feel like a poser. but i guess that comes from being an empty cold hearted bastard. i will be the first to admit that i treat women like shit and as objects. i have lived my life living by the saying of if women can treat men like shit then men can treat women like shit too. but it seems like there are 2 personalities in me. one is the mean bitter whore. and the other side is the nice innocent wants to live the great life. the two sides are battling all the time to gain the upper hand. i guess thats my ying and yang of my body. i guess all im saying is that women bring out the best and worst of me. i want something better but i guess i am being lazy about it and dont want to put in the effort to have something truely great and meaningful. its sometimes easier to just take the easy things and dream about the harder things. i just can never make up my mind. i guess part of it is im too damn shy when it comes to introducing myself to people. thats why i never do well at bars but im free at a party cause someone knows the person you want to talk to. or maybe its just i havent found someone that is truely up to my standards of being in a relationship with. but of course do i even remember what my standards are anymore??? oh well this is my rant about my self and women and how they make me do crazy things. i swear they will be my downfall one day.
rosie_baby:
relationships are never easy. you'll find someone who you want to be with. you'll know, cause being around them makes everything better. til then practice, practice & be up front about not wanting a relationship. though some women might not like it they'll appreciate the honesty.

good luck
Jan 9, 2006

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