IF NECESSITY IS THE MOTHER OF INVENTION, THIS MOTHER SHOULD BE SHOT
No, no, there's nothing violent here, friends! No shootings, stabbings, or beatings today. Just some wacky, zany, kooky inventions and products that do not benefit mankind at large, and although they serve a very narrow purpose indeed, are just so damn fun to spend money on.
I already posted this first one on SurlyMike's page, but I believe it deserves repeating. I love the sheer practicality of it. You're making a hotdog in your kitchen with a pan, or out in your yard with a grill. But while you're standing there like a sucker, you're telling yourself, "There's gotta be a better way." Behold!
Neck feeling a little drafty, but you don't want to look like Stay Puff? Just slap on a dickey!
Okay, loving the dickey turtleneck but not loving the fact that it doesn't go with everything? *wink*
I'm particularly partial to the fleece dickey. Imagine when that special someone gets you home, takes off your coat, sees you're wearing nothing above the waist but a dickey, and the dawning look of loathing on his face -- but that's cool, that's cool. He'll bridle at first, but you can get him to understand, he'll come around and he'll love you even more.
And so you can give your kids stories to last them a lifetime about that scary thing down in the basement. That thing that looked like body parts propped up by the washer and dryer. That thing that haunts their dreams still. But it keeps your boots and gloves dry as... bones. Mwa ha ha ha ha ha haaaaaaaa!
Feel like giving a loved one a gift card for a special occasion isn't enough of a "fuck you"? Shove that puppy into a plastic game/maze contraption, and snicker in your shower as you picture the pimply faced brat sweating over it for days.
Dear grandmas out there, are you looking for a special gift for your sweet little grandson that you love more than anything in the world? Are you thinking perhaps of buying him something like this? Because if so, you'll see the face of one very disappointed little boy.
But really, no pillow can top this guy:
It's called a "Boyfriend Pillow". I hope it's very absorbent because I imagine it will need to soak up a prodigious outflowing of tears from frustrated virgins' eyes. If you own one, just don't get caught frenching it. That would just be too sad.
No, no, there's nothing violent here, friends! No shootings, stabbings, or beatings today. Just some wacky, zany, kooky inventions and products that do not benefit mankind at large, and although they serve a very narrow purpose indeed, are just so damn fun to spend money on.
I already posted this first one on SurlyMike's page, but I believe it deserves repeating. I love the sheer practicality of it. You're making a hotdog in your kitchen with a pan, or out in your yard with a grill. But while you're standing there like a sucker, you're telling yourself, "There's gotta be a better way." Behold!
Neck feeling a little drafty, but you don't want to look like Stay Puff? Just slap on a dickey!
Okay, loving the dickey turtleneck but not loving the fact that it doesn't go with everything? *wink*
I'm particularly partial to the fleece dickey. Imagine when that special someone gets you home, takes off your coat, sees you're wearing nothing above the waist but a dickey, and the dawning look of loathing on his face -- but that's cool, that's cool. He'll bridle at first, but you can get him to understand, he'll come around and he'll love you even more.
And so you can give your kids stories to last them a lifetime about that scary thing down in the basement. That thing that looked like body parts propped up by the washer and dryer. That thing that haunts their dreams still. But it keeps your boots and gloves dry as... bones. Mwa ha ha ha ha ha haaaaaaaa!
Feel like giving a loved one a gift card for a special occasion isn't enough of a "fuck you"? Shove that puppy into a plastic game/maze contraption, and snicker in your shower as you picture the pimply faced brat sweating over it for days.
Dear grandmas out there, are you looking for a special gift for your sweet little grandson that you love more than anything in the world? Are you thinking perhaps of buying him something like this? Because if so, you'll see the face of one very disappointed little boy.
But really, no pillow can top this guy:
It's called a "Boyfriend Pillow". I hope it's very absorbent because I imagine it will need to soak up a prodigious outflowing of tears from frustrated virgins' eyes. If you own one, just don't get caught frenching it. That would just be too sad.
VIEW 14 of 14 COMMENTS
holagatita:
Excellent!!! I'm off to buy myself a boyfriend pillow! Thank you CorpHo!!!!
alyk:
I watched this again today, and was totally inspired to dedicate my profile picture to that lying bitch!