cornelius

i felt like i was wearing a disguise... i was incognito, staying away and straying far, far off the proverbial path, led by adventure to a place up by the sea. up and down the coast i went, switchbacking, condensing life as i knew it into what would keep me warm, what could get me drunk, what will fill me up, what might fit into the car.

i was sleeping in trees. i was making motorcycle noises with my mouth, shaggy haired, wearing flip flops, not at all like my regular self. people that have known me for years couldn't have picked me out of a line-up. i quit keeping track, i forgot all language and instead began to talk like a stranger. my aura glowed green, and i blended in, bronzed, taut, breaking hearts with a shoplifter's carelessness. i shook all their hands, and i stayed away from where i was from.

i began to hate where i was going while continuing to be in love with how i was getting there. the ritzy fucking one floor supermarket had a gawddamn elevator in it, for christ's sake. i laughed at the absurdness of it all. i longed for my everyday life as i knew it... i'd see a pretty girl and wish i was clean shaven as i smoothed my sideburns down. i was disarmed, in disorder, when my callouses disappeared.

i was on my way back and i prayed for a catastrophe, to die at once and true on the road, not wanting to return to the life of a rotting fruit, not wanting to remain caged, i wanted an assassain to be waiting in my apartment. i do not want to work my whole life away and settle down at the end, making up for lost time. i want to learn what it takes to break the longest chains, to cut clark kent into tiny pieces and drown him down the drain.

-bobby