cornelius

my lead foot always gets me into trouble.

i got a speeding ticket a few weeks ago for going 53 mph in a 35 mph zone, which is 2 miles less than criminal. tonight and tomorrow night i get to take my happy ass to driving school, to avoid a fine and several points against my license. the cost of the school is only slightly less than the cost of the ticket, but i am going so my car insurance doesn't get any higher.

i was hoping that i'd get to see some cool driver's ed movies, like red asphalt, or blood on the highway or at least some grisley accident photos or something like that. apparently the state has determined that scare tactics don't work on motorists anymore... i have been told that what i am to attend tonight is a kindler, gentler driving school, where we get into groups, and talk about our feelings... i wonder how they would react if i showed up drunk off my ass?

it seems like i am always speeding somewhere, eternally late. the thing is, i am only always late for work... it is like i really just don't want to be there so i put it off for as long as possible. when the motorcycle cop pulled me over, he asked if i was late, to which i replied, "i'm gonna be now."

i've been trying to drive slower and more cautiously, but it really just isn't my style. when i drive the speed limit, it makes me feel like i am wearing an itchy, too-startched dress shirt that is 2 sizes too small.

putting the proverbial pedal to the metal sets me free.

-bobby