I was reading for a couple of hours and then took an impromptu nap. Ordinarily this wouldn't be a big deal because it was my day off and everything but I happened to take this nap at 8PM. I work up a little past 11 and knew it was going to be a long night. I messed around with stuff around my place for a little while and then surfed SG for an hour or two. When it hit 3AM I decided I should probably try to go to bed. I was wide awake and my mind was wondering to places I don't like to go.
I started to think about my past. I remembered being with my ex-fiance and how I asked her how she got her scars on her arm. I remembered her telling me that she used to cut herself. I remembered all of the good times we had going on holiday together. Then I remembered the bad stuff. I remembered waking up and her not being there because she was out "with friends". I remembered the lies, the deceit, the cheating, the heartache. I remembered what it felt like to be lied to right to my face. I remembered all of the holidays we spent together in our faux happy life.
By this time I was too angry and confused to sleep. I tried turning on the TV and playing a mindless game to clear my thoughts but nothing worked. I really wanted to smoke but I haven't smoked weed in so long, I clearly didn't have any. I got in my car and went for a drive around town.
I found myself driving a little outside of the town I live in to the place I used to live. The place I grew up. I figured it I filled my mind with thoughts of my childhood I wouldn't be thinking about the failed relationship that was plaguing my head.
After about an hour of driving I found myself back home. It was now 5AM and I was starting to get groggy. I needed to rest so I laid back down and drifted off. I woke up at 11 and felt refreshed.
I don't have many nights like last night, but when they come, I wish for their speedy departure.
