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copafeelia

Dayton-ish

Member Since 2003

Followers 3 Following 3

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Thursday Jul 22, 2004

Jul 22, 2004
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Night of the Exes was not screaming for a sequel, yet here I am in that familiar no-man's land between sex and friendship. The ability to maintain cordial and in some cases very close relationships with exgirlfriends is a dubious blessing.

Beth has damn near become abstract conceptually. We email frequently every day from work (sooo 2001) - over the top flirting. Shameful shameful flirting. I'm the best head she's ever had?! What am I supposed to do with that? September. She's coming. She's married. I'm doomed.

Elissa's visit last weekend was the best thing ever - if not a little frustrating. Of all the girls I know right now, she's the one I would love to be with. She's grown up so much and we connect in a way that's so different than how her sister and I connect. DeAnne will probably be my best friend until the day I die (any day now) but Elissa and I have got intimacy. That's sounds dumb...but anyway...And hot. So hot. Every time someone lies that DeAnne is the prettiest Toto sister...a little part of me dies inside. Heh. So, I was supposed to echo her visit here, by journeying to Niles this weekend. No sooner do I hang up from talking to her about directions than Matt sends me another call.

Lex evidently took this weekend off to come visit. After breaking my heart in fucking December of last year, and swirling around the periphery of my life so that I NEVER get over her, she let's me know with less than 24-hours warning that she's coming to see me. I've been practically begging her to come visit forever. We had such a delicate break. Long distance not working and stuff...I was so into her. A very tough break-up. So I had to call Elissa and give her the scoop, see if it's okay if we post-pone a week. She was surprisingly cool about it but - i dunno. I think I'd almost rather be there this weekend. The last time I saw Lex we were a couple - you know, fucking and stuff. What are the boundaries for this weekend? I'm sincerely nervous about this.

And so Liv and I have been playing phone tag for two weeks and RIGHT before I'm about to pull a bong hit, she catches me and we talk for about twenty minutes. It was weird. I don't know her anymore and she ruled my life for well over a year. A single mom with a two-year-old...buying a house! Divorced! Three and a half short years ago she practically lived with me. I'm happy for her but almost a little sad that she's not the crazy bombshell she was when she was still my girl. She and her baby were jumped on Bridge Ave right in front of my office. She lives up the street. She's okay and she was able to get she and Lucy the hell out of there, but it still sounded fucking terrifying. The details are disturbing.

Finally, Amanda is evidently going to start seeing the military lawyer guy full-time. I asked her straight up and we talked about it. It was like negotiating a business deal. We were so matter-of-fact about it. Good-bye random booty-call-style sex. It was fun, but we knew it had to end eventually.

*yawn* What's on TV tonight?
anarchick:
Love is such a complex thing...

Thanks for the concern for my problems hun, it's nice to know people care out there!
Jul 27, 2004

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