...more reviews. Nothing to see here.
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FLOWERS IN THE ATTIC - 1987
It's hard to imagine anyone associated with this hilarious mess expected it to be taken seriously. The concept - turning one of the most popular sneak reads of 80s teens into a major motion picture - was a natural. But with source material this over the top, you'd better find someone who knows how to direct camp. Instead the tale of four doe-eyed bastard siblings who are held prisoner in the attic of their crazy grandmother's mansion, plays like Brittish melodrama as written by Joe Esterhauz. Louise Fletcher chews the scenery as the grandmother but looks kind of embarassed - and it takes a lot to embarass Nurse Ratched. A pre-Buffy Kristy Swanson plays the elder daughter, but no one can make this dialogue sound good. The book's incest themes are all but absent - though there is one lingering stare from big brother at bathtime. Not completely without merit, this qualifies for the perfect movie to watch with friends at 4 o'clock in the morning when everyone's sense of humor starts to flag. It is hilarious. ***
RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD 3
A sequel in name mostly - but a worthy entry into the zombie movie hall of fame. It's one of those little straight-to-video gems that garners a sizeable cult following. When an army brat wrecks his Harley accidentally killing his girlfriend, his only recourse is to raise her Pet Sematary style with the reanimating agent secretly housed at the army base where his pop runs the show. What he ends up with is a living dead girl with a penchant for severe S&M accessorizing. Screaming Mad George's gore alternates between being wincingly convincing and ridiculously silly. It's a creative direction for the zombie genre and an entertaining and sometimes unnerving late night experience. Bonus points for nudity, a hispanic zombie gang and some good lookin' zombies. ***
RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD: PART 2
This good for nuthin' sequel was a heartbreaker for me in my Fangoria-readin' early years. It stubbornly insists on ignoring it's source material's vibe but still manages to lift it's best material - while inexplicably going for a kiddie-matinee feel. Of course this doesn't work out at all! The zombies look bad and meet the dumbest end in a terrible climax. Don't be fooled by the impressive cover art. Stay the hell away.
*
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FLOWERS IN THE ATTIC - 1987
It's hard to imagine anyone associated with this hilarious mess expected it to be taken seriously. The concept - turning one of the most popular sneak reads of 80s teens into a major motion picture - was a natural. But with source material this over the top, you'd better find someone who knows how to direct camp. Instead the tale of four doe-eyed bastard siblings who are held prisoner in the attic of their crazy grandmother's mansion, plays like Brittish melodrama as written by Joe Esterhauz. Louise Fletcher chews the scenery as the grandmother but looks kind of embarassed - and it takes a lot to embarass Nurse Ratched. A pre-Buffy Kristy Swanson plays the elder daughter, but no one can make this dialogue sound good. The book's incest themes are all but absent - though there is one lingering stare from big brother at bathtime. Not completely without merit, this qualifies for the perfect movie to watch with friends at 4 o'clock in the morning when everyone's sense of humor starts to flag. It is hilarious. ***
RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD 3
A sequel in name mostly - but a worthy entry into the zombie movie hall of fame. It's one of those little straight-to-video gems that garners a sizeable cult following. When an army brat wrecks his Harley accidentally killing his girlfriend, his only recourse is to raise her Pet Sematary style with the reanimating agent secretly housed at the army base where his pop runs the show. What he ends up with is a living dead girl with a penchant for severe S&M accessorizing. Screaming Mad George's gore alternates between being wincingly convincing and ridiculously silly. It's a creative direction for the zombie genre and an entertaining and sometimes unnerving late night experience. Bonus points for nudity, a hispanic zombie gang and some good lookin' zombies. ***
RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD: PART 2
This good for nuthin' sequel was a heartbreaker for me in my Fangoria-readin' early years. It stubbornly insists on ignoring it's source material's vibe but still manages to lift it's best material - while inexplicably going for a kiddie-matinee feel. Of course this doesn't work out at all! The zombies look bad and meet the dumbest end in a terrible climax. Don't be fooled by the impressive cover art. Stay the hell away.
*