I just posted this in a thread on the "dating sucks" group and I thought it journal worthy as it expands on my thoughts from the last week.
I'm really confused about this thread, in that it isn't clear to me what the majority of the guy's posts here want with women. Are they jaded at the idea of the nice guy because they don't get laid? Can't get a date? For me, this thread would be so much more clear if it a man's intention was spelled out. Because if all men want is a short term dating partner or a fuck, they of course being the asshole is it. No mistaking that.
But being now well into my thirties and having done the slut thing years ago, the idea of dating for the sake of dating is getting old. And even the idea of talking someone home to screw who I can't have a conversation with that won't make my brain freeze is also lame.
No, what I ultimately want is that parnter who knows me as well as anyone, someone who will go with me to places sexually you couldn't in a short term relationship, a friend, etc etc.... I don't believe that being an asshole is a road to this end.
One of my qualities I hold very dear, is my honesty. Tactful yes, but honest. I never want to be accused of not being myself. If I was to spend time with a woman and then realized it could go somewhere, what good would it have been to have bot been 'intentionally' considerate and respectful.
It seems to me that thsi whole asshole thing is a bit of a game. Yes when dating, having some mystery about yourself makes things interesting. Mystery is not being an asshole though.
I know many women want the asshole for the reasons many have stated here. BUT.....however you want to pigeon hole me, I'm not bording, I don't fuck with vanilla icecream in my ice box, and I don't play games.
Perhaps my methods are not as successfull as they could be, since I'm 33 and single. Of course I'd like to find that partner who along with making my toes curl, can also listen to how my day was, but in the mean time, I will not sacrifice the values I have lived by for years.
I'm really confused about this thread, in that it isn't clear to me what the majority of the guy's posts here want with women. Are they jaded at the idea of the nice guy because they don't get laid? Can't get a date? For me, this thread would be so much more clear if it a man's intention was spelled out. Because if all men want is a short term dating partner or a fuck, they of course being the asshole is it. No mistaking that.
But being now well into my thirties and having done the slut thing years ago, the idea of dating for the sake of dating is getting old. And even the idea of talking someone home to screw who I can't have a conversation with that won't make my brain freeze is also lame.
No, what I ultimately want is that parnter who knows me as well as anyone, someone who will go with me to places sexually you couldn't in a short term relationship, a friend, etc etc.... I don't believe that being an asshole is a road to this end.
One of my qualities I hold very dear, is my honesty. Tactful yes, but honest. I never want to be accused of not being myself. If I was to spend time with a woman and then realized it could go somewhere, what good would it have been to have bot been 'intentionally' considerate and respectful.
It seems to me that thsi whole asshole thing is a bit of a game. Yes when dating, having some mystery about yourself makes things interesting. Mystery is not being an asshole though.
I know many women want the asshole for the reasons many have stated here. BUT.....however you want to pigeon hole me, I'm not bording, I don't fuck with vanilla icecream in my ice box, and I don't play games.
Perhaps my methods are not as successfull as they could be, since I'm 33 and single. Of course I'd like to find that partner who along with making my toes curl, can also listen to how my day was, but in the mean time, I will not sacrifice the values I have lived by for years.
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And I agree with much of what youve mentioned in your journal.. its a lot better to be particular about your partners, and theres something to be said for waiting for the right thing.
But thank you for your comment it means the world to me when people leave me comments!