I was about 10 years old when I had my first BIG crush. This person, I wrote so many love letters. I made all the baked goods I could to sway them. Picked so many flowers. I remember our first kiss. The rush of butterflies, the intensity, to this day I'll never forget it. I've felt it again of course, different time, different place, different person of course.
I got in trouble with school, my mom went through my room. She found the box of love letters. Nothing sexual, just innocent letters declaring our admiration for each other. Expressing how much joy we brought to each others lives...
The issue was who the letters were with.
A girl. a female.
My parents, after a beating to the point I couldn't sit, made me tear up all my letters. Forbid me to see her ever again. Told her parents and she moved by the end of the year. I was heart broken. My parents thought I was acting out. I have been a victim of a sex crime when I was very young. They were convinced I was only acting out as a result. I was shamed. Told I was sick in the head because I was abused at a young age. I was forced to participate in therapy where they would tell me time and time again it was unnatural for me to have those feelings and thoughts about another female.
We moved to Utah. I struggled to fit in. I wasn't Mormon, I wasn't related to any of them, I had been to the beach... I made my first friend; a female. She wrote me a letter once. My mom found it. More therapy, more punishment. I was then "blacklisted" in that town. It was nearly impossible for me to make friends with anyone, if we were friends it was in secret. I started dating boys, found love. A few times.
2008 I surprised my entire family and moved to Denver, CO... to be in a relationship with a female. I just jumped.
Years have passed and my family has come to accept who I am. My parents support me, fully, to love whomever I love.
Point of this lengthy blog is to KNOW who you are. Don't lose sight of who you are, who you love. Have pride in who you are and who you love.
@missy @rambo @erikad @mickey
