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contradiction

2nd circle of hell

Member Since 2003

Followers 126 Following 111

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Sunday Jan 02, 2005

Jan 2, 2005
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Okay...my lovely man got in this contract in secrecy and I had the most beautiful Christmas in my life. I got my medication too...I feel so many worlds better than ever.

I got the kickinest coffee maker ever. It grinds the beans, then puts them in the gold filter, where water filtered by the machine goes through and makes me Starbucks coffee every morning. Oh yes. Heaven.

The show NYE was great. Lots of fun. Got tipsy and had blazing hot sex in a hotel bathroom for two hours. The drummer and a security guy got a front row listening party. They walked out at some point. Haha. Too bad for them. I looked smokin hot that night - red waist cincher, platform boots, short skirt and fencenet long sleeved shirt. HOTT!!!

I also gave my guy the best gift ever. This year is going to be our year, as couple, and as a band. He says that when our album comes out, he will get his first tattoo. He wants to get "Trust Your Lust" in Hebrew done on his arm. So I had it translated without telling him, and presented it to him at midnight. He was moved almost to tears...it meant the world to me. How beautiful he is.

The one thing I did not get that I wanted was the ring. Not terribly surprised...I did have a feeling for a long time that I was going to get it on New Years...but when the time came, I knew it was not going to happen. I don't understand...but it is not mine to know it all. There is so much strange stuff surrounding my questions...but I really need to stop questioning I think. It is his choice. I understand what his feelings are, and I understand that he loves me more than anything. I think he may be waiting until the album is released. I really wish he did not base our personal life on our musical one...but again, it is his choice. My son (most of you don't know I have a kid...heh...surprise!!) told me he wanted me and my guy to get married so that my guy would be like a dad (he lives with bio-dad most of the time, but my guy and him are EXTREMELY close, and always have been). I told him that was up to my guy. He said "why doesn't he want to marry you? Is it so he can marry another woman?" Ouch. Words from the mouth of a 7-year-old...

My thought for the day: Why must I want what I apparently should not have right now? oh yeah...and "I eat people, because they taste so good..."

My listening pleasure: NIN and Pearl Jam.

Wearing: Black D ring parachute-like pants and a red tank top with shiny black evil music notes on it.

Wish: I want to get this album done so that the next phase of our lives can begin to unfold...as a band and as a couple...I am sick of being a "girlfriend" or being told we are "dating"...after 6 years and much strife and beauty, I would think it would be more than that...
VIEW 10 of 10 COMMENTS
candy:
haha.. well atleast you know he had a good time wink
Jan 4, 2005
christinarenee:
I love that pic of you on your profile... blush Inzaine and I are going to be coming to florida for a couple days in Feb-Mar time.... well so much for having my natural hair color anymore... heh... that trend lasted longer than I thought... It stayed blonde for a really long time... lil more than a year.... but check the new profile pic.... biggrin ...anyhow glad to hear things are going well for you kiss
Jan 4, 2005

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