contradiction

Well, got most of my stuff. I am missing about $2000 (that I have found so far) of musical gear, including my Nord Modular synth, my copy of Cubase and an AKG C3000B mic. I am pissed. REALLY pissed. This is stuff I worked so hard for. He threatened to take the synth. He did. I can't even legally go get it. Maybe my lawyer can scare him or something. Going through everything is hell, but I am whittling it down to the necessaries. I am thinking of selling my HDR. I need the money, and I really don't need it right now. I think I will.

I have learned that giving your true opinion to a loved one can be a bad idea. That was not a good thing. Of course, the end result lesson, was that unconditional love and support means not playing devils advocate EVER when asked one's opinion regarding one's SO's "enemies". Apparently it also means not being uncomfortable with one's SO's previous dealings with evil cunt bitch ex's. So now, I am going to be unconditionally supportive. Boy, it is going to take some freakin WORK to not cringe every time I hear that manipulative whore's name. However, I see why he wants this, and I am willing to give on it. He has been unconditionally supportive and unquestioning with my situation with my ex bf, and I really ought to return the favor.

My thought for the day: I want my freakin Nord and my mic and my CDs NOW!!!!

My listening pleasure: Depeche Mode's Violator (Enjoy the Silence is still one of the best songs ever).

Wearing: tight jeans that are strategically faded and a black tank top. I was wearing a little black t shirt earlier, but it got...ahem...something on it this morning...

Wish: That I had my Nord, my Cubase, and my mic. That I was done with all this fucking unpacking. That I could work on music again. That my parents lived closer so they could buy me kick ass food all the time. That I wasn't so broke.