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contradiction

2nd circle of hell

Member Since 2003

Followers 126 Following 111

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Tuesday Jan 27, 2004

Jan 27, 2004
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Here I wait for 9:15 pm to come...so I can meet the new guitarist and get it over with. I hope he is cool. I hope he works out. It would be nice.

I also emailed this guy I have been talking to, but I really shouldn't be but it is a weird situation....hmmm, how to explain....he is married, but we have been "intimate" (if you can call it that in the situation where it happened). His wife was involved, it wasn't some clandestine thing. But now we are talking about hanging out without her...and I am not sure if she knows. I am hoping she does and is OK with it. I mean, we are not planning to do anything raunchy, just chill and have some drinks and maybe play some GTA, but I don't know. The last time I hung out with a guy that I was attracted to that was married alone, he ended up ceasing to talk to me, presumably because his wife freaked out. It is also extra weird because I am single now (I wasn't then), and because we haven't really hung out since that party, which was over a year ago. Hmmm...I must say I am looking way better than I did a year ago....dammit, no that is not what I should be thinking about....

I am so bad at behaving.

I just don't want to do anything that jeopardizes someone else's thing, cuz I certainly don't want to get into another mad deep committed relationship right now. I am frankly sick of committed living together breathing down each others necks relationships. I need to do my own thing for a while. But out of nowhere, all these guys I am friends with start talking to me again, and they all seem interested. Right after I beecome single. And most people don't even know about the breakup or anything, my shit usually doesn't get through the grapevine cuz most people don't give a flip.

Not that this particular guy seems "interested" per se, it is just the sticky situation (no pun intended) that we have been together before (and it was good too). Not to mention the last time I hung out with him and his wife and other friends, she became very clingy and nasty toward me because him and I were talking a lot (we have a lot in common, but jeez). And he is awful cute, and I am awful bad. Heh.

Okay that is my boring story for the evening. I am going to go make CDs of my music now for the new guy.

VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
desert_monkey:
Don't even start to mess with something that may screw things up then........just keep it mellow, do your own thing, and spend some time with me instead! Ha! I mean it though. There's so many paths to take. Why create more friction in life? I'll make ya smile - with your whole body and soul! Hey, serious though, my family's outta here on Sat. Maybe we can do somethin Sun?
Jan 27, 2004
miss_lady:
go ahead and steal away...
Jan 27, 2004

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