contradiction

Shitty.

I went to the show last night, but because I didn't buy my ticket ahead of time, and I got called into work right before, I couldn't get in. It was sold out. I was pissed. Went to I Bar, which was good for about 5 minutes of laughing at chicks who don't own mirrors and setting shit on fire. But I was there like2 hours.

Well, my ex's new form of amusement is badmouthing me to other people. He knows I am intensely private and he seems to want to tell everyone he knows all of these things that aren't true about me - that he dumped me, that I am brooding over it and clingy and trying to get him to have sex with me....this is really gay, no offense to gay people everywhere. He also seems to think that because I made the mistake of trusting him with info about my life that it is now his right to spread that around as he sees fit. This is why I trust no one, why I hate relationships, why I can't completely stop being a hardass. People just aren't fucking worth it.

Hmmm I wonder if I should just say screw everything I have invested in this house, and move. But that will suck.

I hate my life right now, with a passion.

Why did I do this to myself????