contagion

Not much happening on this Sunday. It seems like every Sunday is the worst feeling day for me. I get that feeling like "man the weekend is finally over" so it gets me somewhat down.
As I walked into the apt. tonight around 8ish I got this weird feeling that Im gonna have to get use to walking into a empty apt. for a long time soon. Once my brother leaves for school Im not gonna have anyone to hang with. Granted that he is my brother and we fight about stupid shit sometimes he is my best friend. We communicate on some other strange plane that people can't seem to understand. It's almost like we talk in code most of the time. We'll spit out lines from movies we saw when we were like 9 and it will still be funny to us. I never realized that being a twin is tough. The only hard part is having to deal with A-the dumb questions from people and B-the seperation. We've pretty much been together since birth, 21 years, and come this Aug. will be the first time we are actually gonna be seperated. Im sure that things will be strange for me. Having to find my pattern and routine of being a person and not just a twin. Like a new self, shed the old skin. Hopefully things wont get too depressing. I've know/felt some serious tragedy over the last 2 years and hopefully this wont really add to it. I want to look at it as a step that has to be taken to complete a journey or mission. I dont want to be held down by it.

"She holds my hand, and I lie to get a smile"

~ Contagion