conscious

So school is going better (cried in front of everyone). Apparently I can be very.......blunt and rude at times, so basically.....i got attacked by words from some of my classmate. (now..I am Miss sensitive. or they just make fun of me for it) . I feel like I have to change or be fake in front of these people :/ Like if I was myself, I would be blunt, happy and feel good about myself. So even when I had a GREAT day I feel like shit, because of what everyone said. :/

Anyways, got a remote control for my camera, so now I can take better self portraits and shit , fucking.......awesome. Oh and I got my make up done today as well , by this girl in my class. I never really new how to do it, since........ apparently I have Asian eyes (very very round lol). so when I try to put on make up like everyone else, it...turns out kinda odd. But in these photos, when i saw myself in the mirror...it has been so long since I thought I looked so pretty (sad I know ) It's hard for me to think I am, since I grew up rarely getting complements. I mean I know girls that get hit on all the time, but even when I had long hair it was very rare to receive one. I mean is that selfish to want people to notice you? :/

anways ( i need to stop putting anyways lol)
here!