conqueringking

I went an so Serenity Saturday. It was amazing. It answered most of my questions left over from the series. I think it was very well done. Between watching that and getting my Jessica Alba fix with "into the blue" I was able to wrap by mind around some of the things I'm experiencing.

I've been pretty much moping around here, but I haven't told you what has me so shook. O.k. the school I'm in for the military is in its pratical application section. I'm pretty much expected to see something done one time and apply that to another job, which really doesn't resemble the first one I've seen. Not so very difficult if your shit hot on the principles but, Just seeing it once is hard. To make things, even tougher you have 2 people usually getting graded and the other person if they aren't on the money they can really screw you over. The thing is most of the students realize this so we look out for each other. The problem is that sometimes you don't have an student you have an instructor..... You fail 2 of these and you get to go before a review board to determine if you stay.

So to make a long story short. I hosed myself the first time so, I knuckled down and studied to make sure my re-grade was going to go smoothly and it would have but, I didn't have a student partner I had an instructor...an instructor who dicked me balls deep.... Because no matter how good you are overall. There are these things called Criticals attributes which can fail you all by themselves. All it takes is one. and yes, the kindly instructor set me up for failure. at least had the decency to come by the next day and apolgize, but it doesn't change the fact that tommorrow its sink or swim for me. I can't say he screwed me over, he admitted it. give me another chance...All the instructors know it, and they all keep telling me "keep a good attitude." And, I'm keeping a good attitude I'm smiling, and laughing I'm trying to be positive. When I want nothing better than to howl and rage. I know what you're thinking its only a school.....wrong. This is my ticket to Guam. If I don't pass tommorrow, then I could be shipped off anywhere, even to the Hellhole I just left, and I believe that that is more than I can stand.

So there you have it the rest of my life will be decided in about a 2 hour span by someone who could care less wheather I lived or died. And, if I somehow pull out this hat trick, then I can go talk to the personel department and try to get back the 1600 buck I'm missing from by last couple of paychecks and start studying for my final in 2 weeks.

"Sometimes I wish that I could fly away....."