I went out to the bar with John-boy my old roomate last night. We decided to hit Off-shore last night. It was pandamonium out there. We hung out last night with another friend of ours todd. and of course, our drunken conversation ended up touching on why nice guys don't pick up chicks. I've thought about it and have come up with some theories:
Nice guys can not be used car salesmen. To be able to have any sucess you must be able to convince the woman you're after that she wants what you're pitching (Yourself) and that you are better than any of the other guys/girls in the bar.
A good percentage of women don't know what they want. I've asked women on plenty occasions.some of these women, I was interested in, a lot of them just happened to be friends, but the point is if asked what were the first 3 things they noticed about a guy, or asked what was the first 3 things about a guy that caught there attenttion the answer tended to be I don't know.
Most women are not assertive. This is a no brainer. Most women will not make the first move,or if they do it's something that you probably wont catch 9 times out of 10 and because they made the first move and you did nothing about it. You are now either a pussy or an asshole.
Most women don't want a guy they can dominate. Yes, to some extent a good percentage of nice guys are push-overs but, it isn't always a good idea to assoicate kindness with weakness.
Nice guys take rejection too seriously. Rejection happens. You can not win everytime. You might not even win most of the time. Some women know exactly what they want and it isn't you. Some women hunt in pards and if the pack doesn't like you then you're done. Some women know that they would ruin your life, and probably cause you to committ suicide, so they feel sorry for you and pat you on the head before sending you on your way. Some women come up with stupid inane rules like" I won't talk to a guy whose belt clashes with his shoes." that's right mr. nice guy you got done in by your clothes. Hit the showers she's already decided to can you before you got halfway across the room and of course the last group that contribute to the increasing nice guy suicide rate.....the "Feel Good Inc." or the women-who-come-to-the-bar-just-to-turn-guys-down-to-make-themselve-feel-better. Yes, these groups exist. I know a couple of people to admitted to going out with just that attention.
But, despite our lengthy exploration into the female mind. We managed to get drunk and meet some really cool people.
P.S. What exactly do you look for when you go out to party and meet someone?
Nice guys can not be used car salesmen. To be able to have any sucess you must be able to convince the woman you're after that she wants what you're pitching (Yourself) and that you are better than any of the other guys/girls in the bar.
A good percentage of women don't know what they want. I've asked women on plenty occasions.some of these women, I was interested in, a lot of them just happened to be friends, but the point is if asked what were the first 3 things they noticed about a guy, or asked what was the first 3 things about a guy that caught there attenttion the answer tended to be I don't know.
Most women are not assertive. This is a no brainer. Most women will not make the first move,or if they do it's something that you probably wont catch 9 times out of 10 and because they made the first move and you did nothing about it. You are now either a pussy or an asshole.
Most women don't want a guy they can dominate. Yes, to some extent a good percentage of nice guys are push-overs but, it isn't always a good idea to assoicate kindness with weakness.
Nice guys take rejection too seriously. Rejection happens. You can not win everytime. You might not even win most of the time. Some women know exactly what they want and it isn't you. Some women hunt in pards and if the pack doesn't like you then you're done. Some women know that they would ruin your life, and probably cause you to committ suicide, so they feel sorry for you and pat you on the head before sending you on your way. Some women come up with stupid inane rules like" I won't talk to a guy whose belt clashes with his shoes." that's right mr. nice guy you got done in by your clothes. Hit the showers she's already decided to can you before you got halfway across the room and of course the last group that contribute to the increasing nice guy suicide rate.....the "Feel Good Inc." or the women-who-come-to-the-bar-just-to-turn-guys-down-to-make-themselve-feel-better. Yes, these groups exist. I know a couple of people to admitted to going out with just that attention.
But, despite our lengthy exploration into the female mind. We managed to get drunk and meet some really cool people.
P.S. What exactly do you look for when you go out to party and meet someone?
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When I go out to party and meet people, I just look to feel "at home". Relaxed, never feeling the need to fill a void in conversation with usueless words, comfortable with whomever I happen to be with.
And some laughs, of course.