Ok, so it's no longer 2008 and I'm tired of looking at my old blog.
I don't have much going on. Just been working on myself alot, get stuck in my own head way more than I'd like. I'm fairly certain it's time to see about getting me some therapy and some new meds, because this has to stop. Alot of the conflict in my brain over the last year has been due to the whole getting over my past relationship of 8 years and learning how to begin my life anew. I thought I had it all figured out and I thought I was fine with it, but it's become blatantly obvious I still have a long way to go. I've cut all ties with him, now, as we were trying to do the friend thing but that didn't work out so well. That was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do, because when you've had someone in your life for THAT long, you kinda don't know how to behave without having them there. But it was for the best.
Main goal, atm, is to find a better paying and/or second job. Got myself a gig as a barista in a bookstore. It's ok, but the pay rate is way too low for me to survive on. And I swear breathing in all that caffeine is giving me insomnia, cause I can't fucking sleep to save my life.
Next step is finding a new place to live, as the family home is going to be no more as of April. That was another hard pill to swallow, but we just can't afford it. I really wanted this for my mother, I wanted her to finally have a home of her own, and that was originally the point in moving here. Such is life, though.
I have a long road ahead of me, and I keep trying to see that light at the end of the tunnel. Keeping the faith that it WILL come, in time, is what I need to concentrate on. I have alot of work to do, and alot to prove, more to myself than anyone else.
And that's that for now.
So, anybody have any good books to suggest to me? I've made a consistent effort to start reading more, and have actually finished four books so far this year. I finally read Prozac Nation (and how appropriate), finished Brother of Sleep (which has been on my bookshelf for forever), The Postman Always Rings Twice, and have moved on to reading Henry & June for the umpteenth time. The store I'm working at has a really awesome book lending program, so it's like having an always current library at my disposal. I think mayhaps the first book I will borrow will be something by Nick Hornby, as I've heard great things about him.
I sincerely hope you are all doing well, I'm trying my hardest to get back in the swing of being an active member of this community, because I do love it so. You know it's gotten bad when you peruse your friends list and are shocked to find, oh, 16 or so people have gone grey.
Also: These two damn songs will not leave my brain:
(dedicated to my favorite lady, cause we both need some sleep. And because without your influence I wouldn't have learned such a new appreciation for this wonderful, wonderful band.♥ )
(I need to stop listening to Otis on repeat in my car.)
I don't have much going on. Just been working on myself alot, get stuck in my own head way more than I'd like. I'm fairly certain it's time to see about getting me some therapy and some new meds, because this has to stop. Alot of the conflict in my brain over the last year has been due to the whole getting over my past relationship of 8 years and learning how to begin my life anew. I thought I had it all figured out and I thought I was fine with it, but it's become blatantly obvious I still have a long way to go. I've cut all ties with him, now, as we were trying to do the friend thing but that didn't work out so well. That was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do, because when you've had someone in your life for THAT long, you kinda don't know how to behave without having them there. But it was for the best.
Main goal, atm, is to find a better paying and/or second job. Got myself a gig as a barista in a bookstore. It's ok, but the pay rate is way too low for me to survive on. And I swear breathing in all that caffeine is giving me insomnia, cause I can't fucking sleep to save my life.
Next step is finding a new place to live, as the family home is going to be no more as of April. That was another hard pill to swallow, but we just can't afford it. I really wanted this for my mother, I wanted her to finally have a home of her own, and that was originally the point in moving here. Such is life, though.
I have a long road ahead of me, and I keep trying to see that light at the end of the tunnel. Keeping the faith that it WILL come, in time, is what I need to concentrate on. I have alot of work to do, and alot to prove, more to myself than anyone else.
And that's that for now.
So, anybody have any good books to suggest to me? I've made a consistent effort to start reading more, and have actually finished four books so far this year. I finally read Prozac Nation (and how appropriate), finished Brother of Sleep (which has been on my bookshelf for forever), The Postman Always Rings Twice, and have moved on to reading Henry & June for the umpteenth time. The store I'm working at has a really awesome book lending program, so it's like having an always current library at my disposal. I think mayhaps the first book I will borrow will be something by Nick Hornby, as I've heard great things about him.
I sincerely hope you are all doing well, I'm trying my hardest to get back in the swing of being an active member of this community, because I do love it so. You know it's gotten bad when you peruse your friends list and are shocked to find, oh, 16 or so people have gone grey.
Also: These two damn songs will not leave my brain:
(dedicated to my favorite lady, cause we both need some sleep. And because without your influence I wouldn't have learned such a new appreciation for this wonderful, wonderful band.♥ )
(I need to stop listening to Otis on repeat in my car.)
VIEW 26 of 26 COMMENTS
I just came in here to see if it smelled funny, and it does.
You are missed around these parts