So, yeah, job's official. Just call me cubicle queen. Got the letter in the mail, today.
It'll feel weird to have a "real job" as opposed to resturant life. I'm thinking through whether or not I want to keep the shits and giggles diner job. I just really hate serving at this point.
But money is scarce, and I need it like crazy. So I've got to get a second gig of some sort.
I miss him. Tonight, I felt incredibly lonesome. I'm usually content with my own company, but the tedious day to day I've been engrossed in finally hit me.
I just want to wrap my arms around him. I've been trying to push thoughts of him to the back of my mind, trying to just go about life as usual without him. But it's not usual without him, the only person I trust, the only person who knows me and loves me unconditionally for it. I'm used to being without him, but it doesn't make it any easier.
Why the fuck did I almost give up such a beautiful thing? This man LOVES me, has proven it many times over, and I continue to test him. I need to remind myself of how lucky I am to have such an all consuming love in my life. Too often I try to push away these feelings or let the doubt creep in. There is no need for doubt.
GAH! I just want to leave NOW. My impaitience gets the best of me, always. People keep warning me, telling me how different everything will be, how hard it will be for me to relate to people, that I should acclimate myself to the life before I take this leap. Well, shit, when I'm here, the only person that I turn to no matter what is HIM. Ummm, yeah, so same difference. With less distractions.
Excuse my blubbering, beer number six made me think bad thoughts. Drunk me + bad taughts = not so grate.
I just miss my heart soaring. He's the only one to affect me like this. Course, when he WAS here, I didn't appreciate him like I should've.
"When you want it, goes away too fast. The times you hate it, always seem to last."
Anyway....
I said this nicely in my last journal, but it didn't seem to do the trick. Sooooooo......
DON'T SEND FRIENDS REQUESTS TO COMPLETE STRANGERS. DO NOT WANT! LEAVE ME BE! PUT UP OR SHUT UP, PEOPLE.
Annnnd I'm spent.
Smooch
It'll feel weird to have a "real job" as opposed to resturant life. I'm thinking through whether or not I want to keep the shits and giggles diner job. I just really hate serving at this point.
But money is scarce, and I need it like crazy. So I've got to get a second gig of some sort.
I miss him. Tonight, I felt incredibly lonesome. I'm usually content with my own company, but the tedious day to day I've been engrossed in finally hit me.
I just want to wrap my arms around him. I've been trying to push thoughts of him to the back of my mind, trying to just go about life as usual without him. But it's not usual without him, the only person I trust, the only person who knows me and loves me unconditionally for it. I'm used to being without him, but it doesn't make it any easier.
Why the fuck did I almost give up such a beautiful thing? This man LOVES me, has proven it many times over, and I continue to test him. I need to remind myself of how lucky I am to have such an all consuming love in my life. Too often I try to push away these feelings or let the doubt creep in. There is no need for doubt.
GAH! I just want to leave NOW. My impaitience gets the best of me, always. People keep warning me, telling me how different everything will be, how hard it will be for me to relate to people, that I should acclimate myself to the life before I take this leap. Well, shit, when I'm here, the only person that I turn to no matter what is HIM. Ummm, yeah, so same difference. With less distractions.
Excuse my blubbering, beer number six made me think bad thoughts. Drunk me + bad taughts = not so grate.
I just miss my heart soaring. He's the only one to affect me like this. Course, when he WAS here, I didn't appreciate him like I should've.
"When you want it, goes away too fast. The times you hate it, always seem to last."
Anyway....
I said this nicely in my last journal, but it didn't seem to do the trick. Sooooooo......
DON'T SEND FRIENDS REQUESTS TO COMPLETE STRANGERS. DO NOT WANT! LEAVE ME BE! PUT UP OR SHUT UP, PEOPLE.
Annnnd I'm spent.
Smooch
Funny, I got a letter from the government the other day. I opened and read it; it said they were suckers.
CONGRATS on the cubicle job! One of us...one of us.....
Seriously though, very cool. Sorry you miss the boy....but all good things...right? I'm sure he feels the same way about you. And at night, you can look at the stars and imagine he's looking at the same one you are. And at that instant, you'll be connected.
...or, you know....maybe email him.
How long until you go out there?