connielingus

I REALLY wanna punch Greek boy in the face, today. I've about had it with his negative attitude, and considering I"m trying my damndest to remain cool and calm, you'd think he'd at least try. For me. This is probably the biggest reason why I'm calling it quits, I can't stand the misery, the monotony of it, the dreariness.

For Christ's sake, I lost someone I loved dearly yesterday, can't you just fake a smile? Just this fucking once??? Course not, you're too busy feeling sorry for yourself.

Well, guess what? I'm sorry. I'm sorry you took me for granted for so many years. I'm sorry you left me alone to struggle for nine months. I'm sorry I don't understand my sexuality. I'm sorry that after almost a decade of people baggering you you finally decided you MIGHT want to marry me. Too little too late, dude.
You're about to make me sorry I ever met you. STOP IT!!! I want these last few weeks to be enjoyable, we're saying goodbye, goddammit!!

I'm sorry my mood took such a dramatic turn, kids. I really AM trying to keep upbeat, but circumstances not in my control seem to want otherwise.

What DOES make me happy, right this moment? My new home, my family and how amazingly strong we are as a whole, my friends who I cherish, BBQ chicken hawaiian pizza, The L Word, the female form, my honey bear, my hot ride, my new found love for Sepultura (I need to vent some anger, this helps), and (unfortunately) the fact that in less than a month I am free. Single life is looking more and more appealing....

We will be burying my Uncle on Saturday. No more sadness, he wouldn't have wanted it that way. He loved life, he lived it to it's fullest. It'll hurt for a bit, but I'm not going to allow this to deter the new wonderful journey I'm about to embark on.

I love you all, thank you so much for all the well wishes. It means so much to me.

Smooch