I am blessed. Sometimes I don't realize this, but today it has sunk in a bit.
I've been at the new house most of the night. We had our first family dinner there tonight in honor of my baby sis Taylor's birthday. It was too wonderful for words. It really feels like home already, I am more excited than ever to live as one big family again.
Just to clear things up a bit, cause I've been asked this a few times, now, this isn't your typical "moving back home" situation. There's no "rules and regulations" short of respect one another. My mother ceased being my parent and started being my friend many years ago and we haven't looked back since. I am my own woman, I will have my own space, plenty of privacy, and all the people I love most in the world a yell away. This is in no way a step back, more a huge step forward and a new look on life.
The hangover was long gone this morning, BTW, I woke fresh as a daisy. And work was much more tolerable than yesterday. I had a major anxiety attack during work on Saturday, it was pretty bad. And really embarrasing, I left in tears. I tried (yet again) to cut down the dosage of my meds. I cut them in half so they last me longer, I don't yet have insurance through work, and with all the bills I've accumulated it's an extra $100 a month that I can't afford right now.
That was as bad an idea as the last time I tried it. I freaked out at work, it got progressively worse as the day wore on. And the restaurant got progressively busier as well, which made my situation that much worse. I could not calm myself down, I really don't know how I made it through.
But, like I said, today was much more pleasant. I worked outside on the patio again, which is so peaceful and relaxing, and so much easier on a Sunday then being cooped up inside. Made ok money, so that doesn't hurt, either.
Why I need to stay focused/ What I am tremendously grateful for:
- New house, new life
- Newfound level of sexual awareness
- I'm losing (well, letting go of) a lover but he'll always be my best friend
- I'm making new wonderful friends and becoming closer to old ones
- I have the most awe-inspiring woman in my life
- I have a new member of my family. Scrappy is the new love of our lives. She fits in quite nicely, our little pup.
- my siblings have given up on "hating" each other, which is a relief beyond reliefs
- I have a sincere support system via SG, I love the people I've met here and treasure the friendships I've made.
It's the little things that make me happy in big ways. Always keeping this in mind is necessary, now especially. Bring on the life upheavel, I'm fuckin ready for it!!!
So how was everyone else's weekend? Anything new and exciting in YOUR world? Speak!
Smooooooch.
I've been at the new house most of the night. We had our first family dinner there tonight in honor of my baby sis Taylor's birthday. It was too wonderful for words. It really feels like home already, I am more excited than ever to live as one big family again.
Just to clear things up a bit, cause I've been asked this a few times, now, this isn't your typical "moving back home" situation. There's no "rules and regulations" short of respect one another. My mother ceased being my parent and started being my friend many years ago and we haven't looked back since. I am my own woman, I will have my own space, plenty of privacy, and all the people I love most in the world a yell away. This is in no way a step back, more a huge step forward and a new look on life.
The hangover was long gone this morning, BTW, I woke fresh as a daisy. And work was much more tolerable than yesterday. I had a major anxiety attack during work on Saturday, it was pretty bad. And really embarrasing, I left in tears. I tried (yet again) to cut down the dosage of my meds. I cut them in half so they last me longer, I don't yet have insurance through work, and with all the bills I've accumulated it's an extra $100 a month that I can't afford right now.
That was as bad an idea as the last time I tried it. I freaked out at work, it got progressively worse as the day wore on. And the restaurant got progressively busier as well, which made my situation that much worse. I could not calm myself down, I really don't know how I made it through.
But, like I said, today was much more pleasant. I worked outside on the patio again, which is so peaceful and relaxing, and so much easier on a Sunday then being cooped up inside. Made ok money, so that doesn't hurt, either.
Why I need to stay focused/ What I am tremendously grateful for:
- New house, new life
- Newfound level of sexual awareness
- I'm losing (well, letting go of) a lover but he'll always be my best friend
- I'm making new wonderful friends and becoming closer to old ones
- I have the most awe-inspiring woman in my life
- I have a new member of my family. Scrappy is the new love of our lives. She fits in quite nicely, our little pup.
- my siblings have given up on "hating" each other, which is a relief beyond reliefs
- I have a sincere support system via SG, I love the people I've met here and treasure the friendships I've made.
It's the little things that make me happy in big ways. Always keeping this in mind is necessary, now especially. Bring on the life upheavel, I'm fuckin ready for it!!!
So how was everyone else's weekend? Anything new and exciting in YOUR world? Speak!
Smooooooch.
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
Let me know when the SGNJ kids hang out again and I'll let you kick me in the ding ding.