It's been a weird couple of days. I've finally started to admit some things to myself. I've come to terms with feelings I have that I've been trying to avoid. And I feel inspired. I always read Anais when I get in these moods, so I figured I'd share my favorite passage from the book I'm currently reading for the umpteenth time-
From "Henry & June" by Anais Nin:
...And here I stumble, because of inexperience, dazed by the intensity and savagery of those hours. I only remember Henry's voraciousness, his energy, his discovery of my buttocks, which he finds beautiful--and oh, the flowing of the honey, the paroxysms of joy, hours and hours of coition. Equality! The depths I craved, the darkness, the finality, the absolution. The core of my being is touched by a body which overpowers mine, inundates mine, which twists its flamed tongue inside of me with such power. He cries, "Tell me, tell me what you feel." And I cannot. There is blood in my eyes, in my head. Words are drowned. I want to scream savagely, wordlessly--inarticulate cries, without sense, from the most primitive basis of my self, gushing from my womb like the honey.
Tearful joy, which leaves me wordless, conquered, silenced.
God, I have known such a day, such hours of female submission, such a gift of myself there can be nothing left to give.
But I lie, I embellish. My words are not deep enough, not savage enough. They disguise, they conceal. I will not rest until I have told of my descent into a sensuality which was as dark, as magnificent, as wild, as my moments of mystic creation have been dazzling, ecstatic, exalted....
I'm almost kinda enjoying how totally fucked my head is right this minute. It's keeping things interesting to say the least.
Tonight, I meet with my family to discuss the fate of our house buying venture. Then it's jammies, couch, new LOST, and season 1 of the L Word. Joy.
Smoochies
UPDATE: We're getting the house!!!!!!!!!!!My aunt is drawing up papers for a lease to buy agreement, we will officially be purchasing the house within 6 months to a year of moving in. I'm moving in June, I'm so freakin excited!!!!
From "Henry & June" by Anais Nin:
...And here I stumble, because of inexperience, dazed by the intensity and savagery of those hours. I only remember Henry's voraciousness, his energy, his discovery of my buttocks, which he finds beautiful--and oh, the flowing of the honey, the paroxysms of joy, hours and hours of coition. Equality! The depths I craved, the darkness, the finality, the absolution. The core of my being is touched by a body which overpowers mine, inundates mine, which twists its flamed tongue inside of me with such power. He cries, "Tell me, tell me what you feel." And I cannot. There is blood in my eyes, in my head. Words are drowned. I want to scream savagely, wordlessly--inarticulate cries, without sense, from the most primitive basis of my self, gushing from my womb like the honey.
Tearful joy, which leaves me wordless, conquered, silenced.
God, I have known such a day, such hours of female submission, such a gift of myself there can be nothing left to give.
But I lie, I embellish. My words are not deep enough, not savage enough. They disguise, they conceal. I will not rest until I have told of my descent into a sensuality which was as dark, as magnificent, as wild, as my moments of mystic creation have been dazzling, ecstatic, exalted....
I'm almost kinda enjoying how totally fucked my head is right this minute. It's keeping things interesting to say the least.
Tonight, I meet with my family to discuss the fate of our house buying venture. Then it's jammies, couch, new LOST, and season 1 of the L Word. Joy.
Smoochies
UPDATE: We're getting the house!!!!!!!!!!!My aunt is drawing up papers for a lease to buy agreement, we will officially be purchasing the house within 6 months to a year of moving in. I'm moving in June, I'm so freakin excited!!!!
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very happy for ye
P.S.-happy holidays, my friend...