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connielingus

Member Since 2005

Followers 207 Following 194

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Thursday Mar 01, 2007

Mar 1, 2007
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I've made a MAJOR adjustment in my life, and it's the first of many changes for the better. Today is my third day without a cancer stick. It's the third day in over 13 years that I haven't smoked, and I'm doing fine.
I have little "spikes" in my mood maybe once a day, I'll get a little touchy for a bit and then I'll be fine. How do I begin to explain how proud of myself I am?

Now, I wouldn't necessarily call my quitting "cold turkey", I've been using a Nicotrol inhaler here and there, just to get myself over the rough spots (after a meal, when I'm driving, etc.). A little greenage helps a bunch, too. My bowl is my new best friend. I guess I'd rather have a crutch then freak out and go back, plus being at home so much I have to have SOMETHING. I will eventually rid myself of these crutches, I mean, I can't show up stoned to my new job. No, not can't, WON'T.

Speaking of the new job:

Update: got a phone call from one of the managers asking to re-schedule my final interview for March 8th. I agreed because this job is worth the wait, but it's going to be a whole month home by the time I start working.
My training will begin March 12 and last til March 26. I'm not gonna lie, waiting for this is putting a hurting on my finances and it's a big risk. But I've got good feelings about this place. And the higher the risk, the higher the rate of return. That's a Greek boyism.

Things with the man are smooth for the most part. I feel an incredible sense of seperation, which is weird cause we've had more time together than usual. I feel our plans for the future changing shape in big ways within both of us. Only problem is we now have different plans. It's a situation I'm not at all unhappy with, I just feel like I've put our relationship on the back burner because I'm focusing so hard on other things. Other things that need my attention NOW.

I need to focus on loving myself, it's been a long time coming. For so many years he's been my main focus. I lost me, and I'm starting to discover myself again. Having the support of so many incredible people I've met through SG gives me strength, learning about the power of attraction gives me strength, broadening my horizons in more ways than I could've imagined.

Thank you all for being there, for inspiring me.

Smooooooch kiss
VIEW 18 of 18 COMMENTS
vivere_pericolos:

You deserve to love yourself..hehe..good luck with the job...
Mar 3, 2007
clio:
Hell yeah! Thanks so much, babe! You won't regret it.

I'm half American (mom's from California) and used to live in Vermont for a while, so I do miss the States every once in a while.

kiss
Mar 4, 2007

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