It's nearly two AM, I have to be up for work in a little over four hours. And, of course, I can't sleep.
So I figured I'd cozy up with a cup o chamomile tea and update.
I've had quite alot on my mind for quite awhile. Too many random thoughts to sort through, too many unresolved issues I feel the need to upheave. Basically, dis bitch gots some baggage.
Ever feel like you're BAD, not "cool" Fonzie bad or Micheal Jackson crotch grabbing bad, but rotten apple kinda bad. I feel like I'm all peaches n cream for appearences sake, but deep down in the core of me there's this huge worm, digging it's way out. It's complicated, so I won't bore you with the details of my deep self-loathing.
My biggest regret as of this moment is loosing touch. I have so many people in my life I've neglected for so long, and I'm not even sure I want them to be a part of my life, but they've given me no reason to think this way. I've come to the point in my life that I feel the need to apologize. To EVERYONE. My friends, my family, my co-workers and bosses, myself.
And this, compiled with numerous other "issues" I have, just makes me want to hide. It's so much easier to just hibernate and pray the world forgets who you are than to deal. It's a wonder I'm not a severe drug addict, cause escapism is my forte'.
So here I am again, writing another whiney "woe is me" journal. I feel like I have nothing to say if it's not in complaint form. And, funny enough, most of what's been troubling me is easily solved. It's completely and totally up to me, I'm way over due for a change of pace.
But, with me, it's SO much easier said than done.
Hey, at least I lost 9 lbs. this week. Yay for a soon to be slimmer, trimmer me (I suppose).
Well, the boy just got home from work, guess I can at least try to go snuggle if I can't sleep. Maybe even get some booty.
Smooch
So I figured I'd cozy up with a cup o chamomile tea and update.
I've had quite alot on my mind for quite awhile. Too many random thoughts to sort through, too many unresolved issues I feel the need to upheave. Basically, dis bitch gots some baggage.
Ever feel like you're BAD, not "cool" Fonzie bad or Micheal Jackson crotch grabbing bad, but rotten apple kinda bad. I feel like I'm all peaches n cream for appearences sake, but deep down in the core of me there's this huge worm, digging it's way out. It's complicated, so I won't bore you with the details of my deep self-loathing.
My biggest regret as of this moment is loosing touch. I have so many people in my life I've neglected for so long, and I'm not even sure I want them to be a part of my life, but they've given me no reason to think this way. I've come to the point in my life that I feel the need to apologize. To EVERYONE. My friends, my family, my co-workers and bosses, myself.
And this, compiled with numerous other "issues" I have, just makes me want to hide. It's so much easier to just hibernate and pray the world forgets who you are than to deal. It's a wonder I'm not a severe drug addict, cause escapism is my forte'.
So here I am again, writing another whiney "woe is me" journal. I feel like I have nothing to say if it's not in complaint form. And, funny enough, most of what's been troubling me is easily solved. It's completely and totally up to me, I'm way over due for a change of pace.
But, with me, it's SO much easier said than done.
Hey, at least I lost 9 lbs. this week. Yay for a soon to be slimmer, trimmer me (I suppose).
Well, the boy just got home from work, guess I can at least try to go snuggle if I can't sleep. Maybe even get some booty.
Smooch
You never did tell me what you got from Wendy's!
It's nice to hear that you still don't need the "breakup cd" for it's intended purposes.
So, should the next cd be a self loathing one or an attempt to get out of the dumps one?***
I forgot to tell you the one I want. I've been getting back to my old school punk phase so anything like that and close to it. If you don't have much, than anything that would make a good "I'm late for work and stuck in Traffic" cd. Sorta fast paced and angry. I gotta warn you though, I'm not much into metal. Tool is about the hardest rock I listen to but they aren't realy fast. Something of an edgy Faith No More (sice we've both talked about our mutual appreciation to Patton.).
Hang in there.
I'll be thinking about you.
P.S. I'm gonna send you an invite to the St. Patty's Day Party. I don't expect you to attend but you gotta see the invite. Every year I try to outdo the last year's invite. Last year was pretty good so it's gonna be kinda tough. (I'll see if I have one of those too so you can compare.) You can come if you want. It would just be kind of a long trip for a cup of Guinness.
*** I was reading this and realized that this sentence sounded a little sarcastic and mean. It wasn't supossed to be. Sorry.