Everything's just organized chaos in my life as of late. I keep having these crazy-ass panic attacks at work.Iit's starting to make the people I've worked with for the last six years think I've finally lost it. And who's to say I haven't???
I chalk all of this up to stress. My job is, was, and always will be torturous. I'm a pretty good waitress, but I know it's not my true calling (thank god) and I think it's time for me to find a new line of work. This is SO much easier said than done and will take a hot minute to accomplish.
I also have to learn how to relax. I get myself so bogged down with thoughts of what I should or could be doing with myself. Gonna look into some visualization meditation and possibly a little yoga. Something that will soothe as well as engergize me. My main objective is to use meds as a last resort. I gotta "fix" myself. Gotta make some sense of the disorder that is my mind....
Things with Greek boy are going smoothly, for the most part, but my constant mood swings have made for some tenseness. Fact of the matter is, WE aren't gonna be ok til I'M ok. And for whatever reason, I'm just not ok right this minute. Wish I could explain why, I just don't know.
On the upside, I've got a few fun shows to attend over the next few weeks. At least that's a tiny light at the end of the tunnel. I'm seeing Rasputina on the 13th and Peaches on the 23rd. And I'm SUPER excited for the 4th, it's one of my fav holidays (BBQ, parades, and fireworks. Hell's yee-eah!!!).
Oh, yeah, more good news. So, my boyfriend and I've been together forever (a little over six years). For those of you who don't regularly hear me refer to "Greek boy" in my journals, that's him. Long story short, he goes home to Greece once a year, and has NEVER taken me (family and "commitment" issues, you understand). Well, he's FINALLY gonna take me to his homeland in January 07!!!!!! This is big, kids, REALLY big. I've never met most of his friends and family, never seen where he grew up, and have been introduced to very little of his culture. So three cheers for my Dimo, he's finally taking me home to Mama!!!
My only major worry about the trip is that I've NEVER been on an airplane. Not that I'm afraid, but I don't imagine an 11 hour flight to be very pleasant for a first timer (AND a heavy smoker). Whateva.
Later. Big smoochies.
I chalk all of this up to stress. My job is, was, and always will be torturous. I'm a pretty good waitress, but I know it's not my true calling (thank god) and I think it's time for me to find a new line of work. This is SO much easier said than done and will take a hot minute to accomplish.
I also have to learn how to relax. I get myself so bogged down with thoughts of what I should or could be doing with myself. Gonna look into some visualization meditation and possibly a little yoga. Something that will soothe as well as engergize me. My main objective is to use meds as a last resort. I gotta "fix" myself. Gotta make some sense of the disorder that is my mind....
Things with Greek boy are going smoothly, for the most part, but my constant mood swings have made for some tenseness. Fact of the matter is, WE aren't gonna be ok til I'M ok. And for whatever reason, I'm just not ok right this minute. Wish I could explain why, I just don't know.
On the upside, I've got a few fun shows to attend over the next few weeks. At least that's a tiny light at the end of the tunnel. I'm seeing Rasputina on the 13th and Peaches on the 23rd. And I'm SUPER excited for the 4th, it's one of my fav holidays (BBQ, parades, and fireworks. Hell's yee-eah!!!).
Oh, yeah, more good news. So, my boyfriend and I've been together forever (a little over six years). For those of you who don't regularly hear me refer to "Greek boy" in my journals, that's him. Long story short, he goes home to Greece once a year, and has NEVER taken me (family and "commitment" issues, you understand). Well, he's FINALLY gonna take me to his homeland in January 07!!!!!! This is big, kids, REALLY big. I've never met most of his friends and family, never seen where he grew up, and have been introduced to very little of his culture. So three cheers for my Dimo, he's finally taking me home to Mama!!!
My only major worry about the trip is that I've NEVER been on an airplane. Not that I'm afraid, but I don't imagine an 11 hour flight to be very pleasant for a first timer (AND a heavy smoker). Whateva.
Later. Big smoochies.
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11 hour flight, Go for the niccotine patch or the gum, or take some good sedatives, or smoke pot before you go you can sleep almost the whole way.